I Cheated on Her - Is She Now Cheating on Me?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Okay. I've been dating my girlfriend for over a year now and we've done pretty well as a couple, so good in fact I could see myself marrying her after I graduate from college. About 6 months ago I "cheated" on her not sexually but by dating other women. I know it's the same crime so I'll leave it at that.
My question is; she just left with a girlfriend of hers for spring break. Well before she left we weren't on good terms. In fact the day before she left we had a fight about me not spending enough time with her. It boggles me because we literally spend every day with each other. My thinking was that if she had her spring break I was going to go out with some friends. This upset her because she thought it was selfish of me for not spending the day with her before she left for her trip. In my opinion I thought she was being selfish for trying to base me around her schedule. To say the least we weren't getting along over the phone very well.
She just arrived today, and while talking with her and her mom she received a phone call that she didn't answer. I asked her who it was and she told me it was Brandon, an old friend from last summer. This old "friend" was a guy she dated for a brief period of time during our break-up when I cheated on her. Her excuse is that she was listening to a CD from his band that he gave her and decided to call him on her 4 hour drive back home to see how he was doing. He left a voicemail that she didn't want me to hear but I did anyway that said in short: thanks for calling me, and yeah we'll have to hang out sometime. Which obviously leaves me to believe that she invited him to hang out.
What bugs me is that he still doesn't know she has a boyfriend, and the fact that she tried to hide his call, which she is not one to do. I have a bad feeling about this because I've done the same thing to her, so I know how the cheating game works. Don't mistake that for me being proud of what I did to her, because I truly regret my past actions.
Am I just a jealous boyfriend who's probably getting what he deserves for what he did last summer, or should I trust my gut on this one?
Hiding and lying are never good, no matter what has happened in the past. There's never any excuse for doing bad in the present because of past events. That kind of logic turns any relationship into a vengeful mess.
You and she need to talk about this. She should never be hiding things from you. If she is starting to treat you as the "parent to hide my life from" then she is damaging the relationship.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Don't be a fool