I Cheated on Her - Is She Now Cheating on Me?
We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions.
Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Okay. I've been dating my girlfriend for over a year now and we've done pretty well as a couple, so good in fact I could see myself marrying her after I graduate from college. About 6 months ago I "cheated" on her not sexually but by dating other women. I know it's the same crime so I'll leave it at that.
My question is; she just left with a girlfriend of hers for spring break. Well before she left we weren't on good terms. In fact the day before she left we had a fight about me not spending enough time with her. It boggles me because we literally spend every day with each other. My thinking was that if she had her spring break I was going to go out with some friends. This upset her because she thought it was selfish of me for not spending the day with her before she left for her trip. In my opinion I thought she was being selfish for trying to base me around her schedule. To say the least we weren't getting along over the phone very well.
She just arrived today, and while talking with her and her mom she received a phone call that she didn't answer. I asked her who it was and she told me it was Brandon, an old friend from last summer. This old "friend" was a guy she dated for a brief period of time during our break-up when I cheated on her. Her excuse is that she was listening to a CD from his band that he gave her and decided to call him on her 4 hour drive back home to see how he was doing. He left a voicemail that she didn't want me to hear but I did anyway that said in short: thanks for calling me, and yeah we'll have to hang out sometime. Which obviously leaves me to believe that she invited him to hang out.
What bugs me is that he still doesn't know she has a boyfriend, and the fact that she tried to hide his call, which she is not one to do. I have a bad feeling about this because I've done the same thing to her, so I know how the cheating game works. Don't mistake that for me being proud of what I did to her, because I truly regret my past actions.
Am I just a jealous boyfriend who's probably getting what he deserves for what he did last summer, or should I trust my gut on this one?
User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female
Don't be a fool
The good news is, you're not married yet. The bad news is, your gut is right. The same thing happened to me when my boyfriend was cheating on me....he got a call and didn't answer it. He claimed he didn't want to use his cell phone minutes on a call from someone he didn't know. I told him that I thought he was lying. The next night when we were out but on our way home, he got another call.....this time he answered and pretended it was his son who was at home with a sitter. He said, "What are you doing awake? We'll be home in a few minutes." Hung up the phone and told me his son couldn't sleep. When we got home minutes later, he rushed into the house and immediately went to his son's room and woke him up (to tell him if I asked if he called to say yes!) It was obvious to me the boy had been in a dead sleep when we got home. My boyfriend tried to play me for a fool AND got his 12 yr old son involved in a lie. Who is the fool? NOT ME. Don't you be a fool either!
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