A complicated Situation
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
so my ex and i dated for 8 months and we recently broke up due to trust issues and we were fighting every day. we both love each other he's told me and i told him. but thing is i lied to him more than enough times over stupid things. i want him back and i told him im willing to change. yet somehow someone keeps telling things that aren't true and he gets mad at me cuz he thinks im lying.
i told him if i didnt love him i wouldn't be changing for him. he said i'm done with you, i can't trust you. and now i feel like all my work i've done to change is for nothing.
i really want him back yet i don't know how to do it. i need your help. i've wrote him notes, i've made peace with his friends. i've just been so honest with him lately. i need help getting him back. please.
First, you should never change for another person. You should always strive to be the person YOU want to be. Otherwise it simply doesn't work. You have to WANT to be honest. You need to crave that within you, to realize why it is so critically important. You shouldn't change "for nothing" based on another person. You should want that change, be happy with that change, and work towards it.
Hopefully by now you've seen why honesty is critical in all of life, and most especially with a partner.
Regaining someone's trust after betraying then numerous times takes a LOT of work. This is NOT easy. It's not something you do in a day or a week. It takes months of serious effort to rebuild that trust. If you are serious, then you need to dig in for the long haul and make that effort.
-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Never Change for Someone