Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and I don't feel happy with him anymore. All we do is argue over nothing and anything. It was so great in the begginning...laughter, love, effection, and then...he changed. He doesn't show me affection anymore. He's so insensitive. He actually tried to hurt my feelings in an argument(doing so blatanly), and he categorizes me with everyone else when at first it was "us against the world" He doesn't talk to me about his problems, and when we make love, it's become all about him now. Like, he's a selfish lover. I told him how I felt, but he says, nothing can ever be the way they used to be. People change. I asked him to at least make an effort, but he says no. When I say I am going to leave, he acts like he doesn't care..and when I really mean it, he tries like all hell to get me back. I know he loves me, because he still encourages me to be great in life, and he tries to help me in any problem that I may have...but he's just so different than when we first met. I am not happy and he is no tmaking efforts to help. Is it me? Maybe he doesn't find me attractive anymore? I have put on about six or seven pounds...so maybe I'm fat or something? What can I do to get him to make more efforts?
Don't worry about being fat... that is the first thing some women worry about.
The problem is the arguing. It is taking its toll on your relationship.
Every couple has disagreements. The key is having productive arguments instead of destructive ones. You two need to learn to fight fair and you will have to teach him or lead him. To find out how to fight fair, search Google for:
Read through the ones that look useful to you.
We also have a webpage about fighting:
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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