Am I selfish?

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I am 39 years old, my bf is 35, we have been dating for over a year.
I love him with all my heart, and I know he loves me.
He is a very needy and insecure person, I am not, and this has caused some conflict in our relationship. He want me with him or me to be around him every minute I'm not at work. I need time to my self, and time with my friends, he gets very upset if all my plans don't include him.
We don't live together, though he is really pushing for that, I don't know if that would be a good move or not. My daughter is almost 18 and will be graduating this year, his daughter is 12, and has 6 more years of school left. I had planned to move somewhere warmer when she graduated, now of course he wants me to stay here.
I'm very confused, he could be the one, but his controlling and posessive ways are a real turn-off that he ppushes me further away when he acts like this, when he doesn't act this way we get along great. Please help! Advice
Tell him straight what you told me.

Say you will give him six months to change his ways and if he doesn't you are moving to a warmer place.

After four months you should make a preliminary judgement as to whether he is changing and if you haven't already done so, give him a warning that his time is running out.

No reason for you to live a miserable life, there are plenty more men waiting for you out there in that warmer place.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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teaching an old dog

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