Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I am pretty good friends with this guy. We eat lunch with the same group, are cast opposite each other in the school play (for the second time), are both on the comedy sportz team, basically have the same friends and teachers, and even share a vocabulary book. So we spend TONS of time together, not necessarily one-on-one but still. He's a complete goofball, who doesn't worry about life, while I am a basketcase who is deperate to add some fun to her life. Over the past few months I've been hanging around with more of my guy friends, which includes him. Lately he has taken to calling me a "guys girl" I've been working so hard to avoid this. I don't want to just become one of the guys, at least not according to him. Yes, I want him to feel comfortable around me but I don't want him to think of me as a guy! I've been everything in my power to show him that I think of him as more than a friend, but I don't think I've been getting the message across! I've even done the whole touch the shoulder, play with the hair, stare straight into the eyes, etc. Both of us seem to have trouble with intimacy, we're not really huggy people (also, he's really tall as in over 6' and I am really short as in under 5', so its difficult)and I don't want to worry him with my problems. Often when I'm around him I over think everything, I don't want to be annoying so I stand next to him for a minute then leave and come back and stand next to someone else so he doesn't think I'm pesky. How do I send him a clear message? I want him to know that I like him, I just dont want to be the one to say it.
One way to send a clear message is to be pesky :)
What is going to think when you stand by him, disappear, the come back and stand by someone else?
Why not ask him out on a date as a "friend." Go for a walk or job in the park, a picnic, a movie, bowling, a sporting event, a musical event, a movie (duh), a restaurant. Or ask him to hang out. Or better yet, ask him to go out.
You will feel better if you take an active role.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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