she still sees her ex and i havent met him

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My girlfriend and I have been seriously dating for 8 months. We have been fighting lately because she continues to be close friends with her ex plus hangouts with others who were madly in love with her. A month into our dating my gf went to Hawaii on a trip with her friend. A about two months after that trip she then tells me she actually went with her ex who she dated for three years. At that time they only were broken up for a couple months. She claimed they were just friends at that point.
She then said that her ex doesn't know about me yet because she is going through some hard times and doesn't want to hurt her. I said if you are just friends then why should this even be an issue. She didn't tell her ex about me for about 5 months. 8 months into our relationship I still haven't met this ex and they continue to hangout and my gf even spent christmas day with her ex and family bc I was out of town visitng my own family.
I couldn't take it anymore and I told my gf I want to meet this ex so I can have peace of mind. At first my gf thought that would be weird but then agreed. A month later I stil haven't met her. I am nervous that there is something between them that my gf can't let go. What do you think?
On top of it...the first night I met my gf at a bar she was there with a friend. This friend got very upset bc she said she loved my gf and bought her a drink then started crying bc my gf was talking to me. She would write my gf love letters and would check her instant message away message to make sure she would not run into her bc it would be too painful. My gf thought this other girl was acting crazy so cut off comunication with her. Now 8 months later the two started hanging out together out of the blue. This hurts me bc i feel this other girl still likes my gf. i told my gf this hurts me and she says it is nothing and they are just friends.
I can't take this. I haven't met these other girls and love my gf so much but i feel like it is causing me too much stress. Why does she think she is doing nothing wrong and do you think she is in the wrong? Please help. Advice
Continue to discuss this with your g/f.

If she refuses to change things then you should start making it clear that you can't live under this pressure. If she cares for you she will do something to make you feel better.

I agree with you that she is too close to her ex.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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