RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up Long story, short?

Oh Barbara, I feel so happy for you.

I should email him the linkage to these posts here so that he can understand me better:) Just kidding.

It may be true that I am in love. I just really cannot read his signals. I want to know how much he likes me. One thing he impressed me from the very beginning was the first time we met in the airplane. I noticed he was looking at my direction, but I did not why. After the plane landed and I claimed my suitcase, he went to me and introduced himself in such a straightforward way something like "you have nice looking. Could we have dinner together sometime." The positive side of that way impressed me with his masculinity/being manly. The negative side that came to my mind is that he might be a playboy, and met girls in such a way, very often? I ever had a joke with him, and I asked whether he often got to know girls by giving out his business card. He said no. But still, I may love him, but I do not feel safe enough.

If he can give me a slight signal that he still cares about me, I will open my mind and my arm for him:) Oh, my little pride makes me feel hesitant because of potential...rejection:(

"If he can give me a slight signal that he still cares about me, I will open my mind and my arm for him:) Oh, my little pride makes me feel hesitant because of potential...rejection:("

pride goeth before a fall

It might hurt to talk to him and be rejected - but it will not kill you. He can't take your birthday away.

I get the impression you are pretty, I know you are little - you have it all girl. Plus being smart, educated and at least bi-lingual.

Barbara, you have taught me so many new words/idioms. Did you major in English:)

Thank you for your encouragement:)

After the first breakup, I emailed him and tried to explain why I was so conservative. I even told him he was the second guy I ever dated seriously. But he said, we were not compatible, and I need to learn and grow. A few days later, I called him during my conference trip, and said we should meet face to face, and I hated to end like this. He agreed. We met for lunch. I told him, I missed him, and I had feelings for him (I forgot which words I had used. I may have used wrong words. English is not my first language after all). He answered, my brain was cheating. He then started listing a few differences between him and me such as the fact that he likes cold water, but I like hot water. And finally, he mentioned, men need sex. I think all the other reasons were lame except that last one-- now I do realize I have problems with intimacy. I need time to reconstruct myself a little bit.

Regarding the second breakup, I already mentioned in the previous post. All of sudden, he was dating another woman. I was very stupid when I hugged him goodbye. I even asked him "am I gonna see you again?" (with smile, no begging). He said, "not often. She would be jealous."

I appreciate your input. I just watched a movie. I think that may be the truth in his mind "he is just not that into you."

Now I also realize that a breakup can really decrease people's self-confidence at least mine.

Don't let a break up decrease your self-confidence. You can be sad - you can be angry - you can be hurt - but you are still you and a break up only reflects ONE persons opinion. If he had come up to you at the airport and said "I don't think you are someone I would date" would you value his opinion enough to think less of yourself?

NO I don't think so - you would have thought he was some kind of nut.
So be it.

There is another asian girl having some cultural problems also. You might find the thread interesting.

http://www.wineintro.com/forum/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=355657#Post355657

Just find the word I have tried to name one of my weaknesses--indecisive. He was my second date, and he was not Chinese. So over whole process, I have got so much persvation from my friends. Some said, for example, he was ten years older than you (age was ever my concern too. He said "my father is in his eighties." Yeah, he was a funny guy). I was indecisive, and I showed hesitance.

To be honest, I kind of think less of myself in terms of dating experience.

Good night:)

All these posts up to now make me feel so warm in such a rainy season.

Hello whereislove

I was sure that I wrote a post for you last night, but I see that it didn't arrive on the thread.
I must have lost it somehow ~ sorry.

Do you know, I think that your ex is right ~ you probably aren't compatible.

But don't take the blame on yourself. I just don't think that he was understanding or patient enough with you. He was thinking of his own needs, and not of yours.

If he had loved you, he would have said that you have all the time in the world to become intimate ~ that you should take it slowly and that as love and trust grew, so would intimacy.

PDM,

Yes. I am think of compatibility too. That is another reason that I am not sure whether I need to contact him again.

whereislove - from experience (my live in relationship, he walked out). Rearrange the furniture, go shopping, get your nails done (what ever makes you happy) take a deep breath, hold your head up and DECIDE that tommorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. "After ALL, tommorrow IS another day."