RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up I can't believe this is the end

Well, to everyone who has seen my topic in the "Dating" section...

I'm breaking up with my boyfriend. My father's decision is final and this might just be better for both of us. It hurts, a lot, but to keep the families at peace, I think it's for the better.

Now, I plan to tell him this on Wednesday, the first day of school. I want to get to school early so I can explain myself to him.

I'm not really one for a plan of action, but here's what I got so far on short notice:

- Get to school early and find him
- Separate ourselves from our group of friends for privacy
- Talk to him gently and calmly
- Tell him it would be better to break up
- Still want to be good friends with him
- Ask if he will take my friendship offer

What you guys think? Any advice for me?

just a thought: you could say something like "his friendship has been very valuable to you" or "I hope we can someday be friends again" the line "still want to be good friends with you" is such a cliché. I know you sincerely mean it when you say you want to remain friends - but quite often guys are not of that mindset.

True. I never thought of it that way. But if I can't love him intimately anymore, I at least would like to love him as a friend. See what I mean?

sometimes that is impossible - especially for guys
Good luck - this won't be easy - but it will be the best for now.

I presume that your boyfriend knows what your father has said?

If so, then he will know that this isn't a typical break-up, so he should understand that if you cannot have him as your boyfriend, at least you will want to keep him in your life as your friend, until such time as your father relents, perhaps.

Good luck & take care of yourself.

Actually not. I plan to tell him on Wednesday. I don't want to be a coward and break up with him via text or phonecall. I want to do this face to face.

I want to keep him in my life. I love him, but it is a love that will have to be kept at a distance. Like I said before: if I can't love him as a boyfriend, I want to love him as a friend. And perhaps, perhaps even as an older brother (that's what happened to this other guy I loved. After we broke it we loved each other as siblings. Heh, we even call each other 'big brother' and 'lil sister').

I hope that you can work something out and that your boyfriend will understand

That's gonna take a whole lot of understanding... which I hope will come easily.

I'm sure that he will be both upset and understanding ~ hope so

Ok, so all of that whole 'break-up' scene didn't quite go as I imagined (happened yesterday).

When he got to school, I pulled him aside, sat him down and told him that I had something important, and rather hurtful, to tell him... And so I told him that I wanted to break-up with him.

He was beyond upset and angry at me. He refused to look me in the eye or say a single word to me. I begged him not to be mad, but he felt like I was just tossing him aside. Then he got up and walked away from me.

I approached my girls and told them what happened. I don't know what happened next, but I burst out crying. I mean, he didn't even want to look at me!

So I went to my social worker and explained to her what happened and along with the consequences if it didn't. We chatted for a bit. When I walked out, he was sitting outside her office and I got such a fright. I hurried away as quick as I could, knowing it was his turn to talk to her.

When I saw him at first break, he seemed more relaxed, but I could see he was still upset. He pulled me aside and we started talking. He said the social worker explained to him what I explained to her and he understands better now.

I must say the friendship thing is harder then I had imagined. We still hug each other, but everytime we do, I expect at least a kiss from him. And now I don't get it anymore... It feels incomplete Take today for instance, we couldn't get over each other! And... he kissed me before my afterschool art class. It felt so unreal. I know I want it, and I can see he wants it too, that we both don't want to be just friends, but there is no other way. But I was like: a kiss doesn't mean we're together, does it? People do it all the time and I've kissed guys on the lips before when they were just friends. No big deal?

He SMSed me earlier to say that he wants to give everything I gave him back. I begged him not to, but I can understand why. It hurts to look at material gifts of love. I hurt too when I take his ring in my hand or hold my teddy bear while I sleep. But no matter how much it hurts, I will never discard them because I know what they did and what they still do stand for.

So now what? This is so difficult... I feel confused...