something isn't adding up. You seem like a nice guy and you are doing all of the right things. You say, however that women seem to become distant and don't return your calls in a courteous manner. Are you saying also, that you have gotten angry with all 11 previous dates that have treated you this way? I can tell you that anger is a turn off. No woman or man likes someone angry at them. Nor do they appreciate being told that they are being rude. I don't know of any woman that doesn't appreciate gentlemanly conduct and nice treatment. Could it be that there is something else you are doing that is preventing the relationships from bloosoming or going forward? Have you tried asking a friend of the female persuasion if there is something you are doing or saying that is a turn off. Do you have a personal habit that you don't know about that is a turn off perhaps. I would be happy to help but you need to fill in a few more blanks. Or perhaps you do have a female friend that is more like a sister who could be brutaly honest with you.
joandboys, you hit the nail on the head. It doesn't add up!! I know this seems odd, but THANK YOU for realizing that. Not a single person has looked at it from my perspective and said.. 'hmmm.. there's something not right going on here.' See, I've observed my friends/peers for years... both guys and girls. I watch how they behave among one another; how they interact. Now don't assume I'm sitting on the sidelines watching. My observations come from interacting as well. All of my guy friends have girls in their life that some would call them up to hang out. Just to put this in a nutshell, when it comes to phone conversations, instant messaging, text messaging, going to hang out, making plans to go on trips, etc (you know, just being friends... doing friend things.), both the guys and the girls make efforts amongst each other. The guys call up the girls, the girls call up the guys. My dilemma incurs only myself making the effort. With my guy friends its no problem. BUT with the women, I'm constantly making the effort. Maybe I am trying too hard... maybe I'm not. No effort is made on my behalf. What doesn't add up here also is that I will quit making any sort of effort all together. Will I hear from them in a couple of weeks? No. Most of the time, I won't hear from anyone is years.
I've even had my guy friends to help out on certain things. For instance, when one of previous roommates female friends would call while he was out asking to come hang out, I got him to tell her, "hey Jon's over at the apt, go hang with him for a bit and I'll be there later." Never got a positive response from that. Heck, when one would just show up while my roommate was out for a few minutes at the store, I would say, "hey, he's only going to be gone five minutes, you're more than welcome to come in and wait." That hasn't worked either. They give me some excuse to not want to stay and wait for five minutes. Is the excuse legitimate?? Probably... probably not. I can't get ticked off because I don't know if its something they have to do, or if its just an excuse because they don't want to hang out with me. And let me also point, that these are girls who I have met in a group with my guy friends, I do try to get to know them, converse with them, tell them a little something about myself... whether they ask or not. So it's not like these girls don't know a little about me. Maybe there is something I'm doing wrong, maybe its something I'm not doing at all. I can't figure it out!
