Hi its Amy again.
Me and my boyfriend are really close, we really love each other, he knows most things about me. He knows I was sexually abused as a child and that i have physically abusive parents, he knows I have mental illnesses, he knows I have an ED and he knows I used to cut. Now I hadn't cut in at least 3 months but broke down crying on Friday night and in my compulsive hysterical state, stupidly did this big gash on my wrist.
So tomorrow he's going on holiday with his male friends, for three weeks around Europe and tonight I went to see him. I wore a T-Shirt, jeans and a hoodie to cover my wrist and as we were saying bye, and the sleeve slid down and just as I was pushing it back up he saw, and I his eyes went black and widened, and I put my hands around his neck but he forced my wrist in front of him and I said "no." and he left it, and the I went to kiss him, and he just tried to look at it again but then he gave up and kissed me. We were in his car around the corner from my house and I could tell he didn't want to be kissing me but he didn't really know what else to do. He said he loved me but it seemed empty. He was barely kissing back. He drove to my house and we pretended nothing happened, kissed, said goodbye and "I love you" but it didn't seem the same.
Could it be that the moment he saw that cut he stopped loving me...
