so are you saying that you guys are not together now .. like broken up?
if so, I would just try to be tough. Try to find anybody else to listen to you rather than calling him, even though you want to. Maybe some others will disagree with me on this. But it sounds to me like you want to find a better relationship but it is hard giving up a known quantity, even if it isn't quite what you want.
you are awfully young to be settling for something less than what you want.
that's my opinion, anyways.
you will certainly find a new relationship, but only if you let go of the first.
incidentally, you may always have feelings for somebody you have loved - but they seem to grow less intense.
