hi i met somone online about a year and a half ago and we have been talking ever since...and we really like eachother....i know alot about him and he knows alot about me adn we really like each other....he wants to come meet me in a month or two and he keeps sending mixed signals like he'll say he thinks thats we could hit it off and be more then freinds and then a couple days later he says hes not sure...so i guess im just looking for advice. anything would be very appreciated thank you

i would not meet him . but thats just me. (remembering assembaly about internet safety). ask your parents. they should know whats right and wrong

Hello Liyla

It would appear that some very successful relationships begin as online friendships.

On the other hand, some people are not who they seem to be.
Paedophiles & conmen have befriended females, who they have met online, for evil purposes.

This may be a nice young man, with whom you could get on very well ~ but you cannot be sure of that.

I would suggest that, if you do decide to meet up, you do not go alone.
And it would be worth finding a way to check him out & get to know the real him, before you take things any further or spend time alone together.

If you are a minor, you should discuss this with your parents.

Unless & until you meet & get to know each other, you cannot know how things will go, so he's probably right to be unsure.

Good luck ~ and be careful!

nah im not minor im 22years old and ya...and ya thanx for the advice ive just never met someone from the net and ya. One of my friends ahve and she is now married and has 2 kids with the guy she met but ya i dont know

I think, whatever your age ~ you are still relatively young, but even if you were older ~ because you don't know who this person is, it's as well to go along with someone else, if you meet up.

Also, I still think it would be a good idea to just see if it is possible to check that is is who he says he is.

Many people have successful relationships that begin online, but sadly, some have very negative experiences.

Apart from the perverts who use the Internet to groom their prey, there are those who use to it con women out of money. Hopefully these are in the minority and most people we meet online are ok, but, forewarned is forearmed, as they say.

Good luck.

heh, I've been in your situation before.
I take it you two have quite the distance between you? Long-distance makes things a little bit harder cause there will be much more effort involved in actually meeting.

If you do decide to meet him, Make it clear that meeting up will be strictly introductory. If he's coming from out of town, he should definitely get a hotel room, don't let him expect to stay with you. Have a fall-back plan if things go awry or not as expected. Make sure someone (or a few people) know you are meeting him and where, and definitely do it in a public place. Give his name and number to someone who knows you are meeting him.

Having said all that, I met my ex-boyfriend online- though it was completely coincidental, not planned at all. we just happened to be on the same gecko forum and he lived 40min away. We met in person only a week after talking online, and everything was ok, but I did make sure to use caution.

Whatever you decide... good luck!

ya thanx for all the advice and ya dont worry when we talked about the meeting he was the one that told me he would be getting a hotel room in the first place....there was never a question where he would stay and he's the one that is very cautios about meeting people off the internet....when we first talked about meeting each other he said that we would have to talk for like a year or so to get to know eachother better before we met

I would say that, while yes it is ALWAYS good to be cautious, a year and a half is a long time for a con to spend on one target. I think the odds are he is basically who is says he is. In as much as, are any of us really who we show to others, especially early in a relationship?

Meet him in a widely public place. Stay in a public place ALL during that meeting no matter how comfortable you feel. Be extra careful and good luck!!

ya thanx...already planned to meet in a public spot and i was gonna bring a good friend with me too....so should be fine..but to the later post....how am i supposed to find out if he is who he says he is? like how do ya find that out without making them upset about doubting them?

You could say something like "this sounds silly but I promised my _______ (fill in the blank, Dad, Brother, Best friend) that I would look at some ID. It does two things, lets you see that he has ID in the name that he has given you and also lets him know that other people know about your meeting.

It will probably work out fine, and if he is one of the good guys he will not mind you being careful.

I have to differ with the above approach. I would be very straight forward and business like. I need to see a valid ID, driver's license, passport, state ID (in even to no driver's license). If he has a problem with it or hesitates walk away.

These things don't always turn out great. Someone in my family married someone they met online two years ago. They are getting a divorce. There was much more to his past then he let on.

Be very careful.

Kathy

oh you mean when we meet get him to show me some id and stuff? but ya my aunt met someone off the net too and she's been living with him for a few years now and she seems really happy so im not too worried that this guy is lieing or anything...and my friend doesnt think so either and she has had experiance with meeting them off the net....shes seen the way he talks and stuff and even she thinks he's one of the good ones...shes also the one whos gonna be with me when we do meet

I agree with this. If he is upset by your request, he is not a respectful guy.

Hopefully he will be one of the good ones, but don't just assume that. Probably he will be. However, you can never be too sure. Caution is necessary when meeting strangers ~ whether they are Intenet friends or otherwise.

oh im not assumin it....i know to be cautious and watch myself...i have my bro and his gf coming with me when i meet him so ya.....butim not gonna worry too much about it....the meeting aint for another month if there is gonna be one

It sounds as if you are being very sensible ~ have a great time

well it aint happenign till next month anyways so we'll see how things go....but ya thank you all for the advice adn if theres anything else ya wanna share then feel free....i like to here everyones opinion

I met my boyfriend through an online dating site a year ago. We are both 28. We had been talking online for about a week when we decided to meet and we met that weekend at a local Starbucks and hit it off. I probably would not want to meet someone that lived far away but meeting local people on dating sites can be fun.

I have heard that it can be a very successful way of meeting friends ~ and even partners