RomanceClass Forum Logo

all ads on this forum support charities
Forum Areas
Non-Romance Relationships
Does He/She Like Me?
Dating
Long Term Partners
Breaking Up
Health and Exercise
Organizing and Cleaning
Stress Reduction

This Ad Supports Charity
Support Our Friends
The Child Health Site
Topic Options
#391660 - 12/16/09 06:04 PM My sister stresses me out
jilly Offline
Best Friend

Registered: 07/07/08
Posts: 1795
Loc: beneath the rim of the Colorad...
I have a sister I barely like. We are at each other's throats without intending to be. It takes so much effort to get along with her - efforts that i would rather use for tending to my own inner peace. I'd like to avoid her totally..but for so many reasons this is not possible.

Anyone else deal with this? What do you do to avoid your sibling, or let the stress not get to you?


Edited by jilly (12/16/09 06:04 PM)
_________________________
Jilly


Top

Add My sister stresses me out to Twitter Add My sister stresses me out to Facebook Add My sister stresses me out to MySpace Add My sister stresses me out to Del.icio.us Digg My sister stresses me out Add My sister stresses me out to Yahoo My Web Add My sister stresses me out to Google Bookmarks Add My sister stresses me out to Stumbleupon Add My sister stresses me out to Reddit
#391667 - 12/16/09 06:13 PM Re: My sister stresses me out [Re: jilly]
Lisa Shea Online   content

Silver Star Soulmate

Registered: 10/20/04
Posts: 5991
Loc: US
I think the sister relationship is an exceedingly challenging one. You two are in competition for resources, in essence, and girls are "subtle" in the way they fight. That is, most brothers I know simply punch and kick each other and are physical. So it's easy to get a handle on. Most sisters I know are emotional in their attacks, so it's harder to defend against, and more likely to keep going on for years and years. I'm not saying boys and girls are innately like that but I think society guides us to be that way. And there are of course always exceptions.

My sister was younger by 2 years so growing up I was always "in charge" of her for better and worse. It means I spent a lot of time looking out for her and taking punishments for her. But it also means she felt like I was always older and got special treatment and so on. She wanted to be equal.

So now as adults we rarely talk with each other. Anything I say, she feels I am being bossy because she sees it through a lens of all those years growing up. I feel frustrated that she is still - at age 40 - upset about me not sharing the piano when I was 13 years old. I don't have a time machine!

I think it's good to choose and appreciate your friends as an adult. Your family is not necessarily made up of people whose morals or life focus or anything else matches yours. It is best to spend your energies in directions you 100% approve of.

It's like supporting a charity. You can support a charity which you feel is 50% OK but 50% very iffy. Or you can look around and find a charity which is 100% what you agree with. Why not support the charity exactly in line with your hopes and dreams?

If you do have to cross paths, treat it as a scientific experiment.
_________________________
Lisa Shea, Owner

Top

Add Re: My sister stresses me out to Twitter Add Re: My sister stresses me out to Facebook Add Re: My sister stresses me out to MySpace Add Re: My sister stresses me out to Del.icio.us Digg Re: My sister stresses me out Add Re: My sister stresses me out to Yahoo My Web Add Re: My sister stresses me out to Google Bookmarks Add Re: My sister stresses me out to Stumbleupon Add Re: My sister stresses me out to Reddit


Moderator:  Lisa Shea 

Want to reply? Register as a Forum Member - it's quick, free and fun!
Latest Posts
Daily Meditation - 10pm EST
by Lisa Shea
Yesterday at 05:49 PM
A Sense of Duty
by Lisa Shea
07/29/14 10:48 PM
Into The Wasteland
by Lisa Shea
07/29/14 05:42 PM
Daily Yoga
by Lisa Shea
07/28/14 02:47 PM
Perfect FREE Summer reading!
by Lisa Shea
07/26/14 03:21 AM
Help Talking on the phone with a girl
by shooting_star_ga
07/19/14 03:04 PM
Himalayan Yoga
by Lisa Shea
07/18/14 09:21 AM
Do You Think about Breaking Up?
by baba ijebu
07/02/14 12:18 AM
Forum Guidelines
This forum takes web safety issues very seriously. Please make sure you have read and understood our Forum Guidelines before posting.
Support Charity
Support Our Friends
The Animal Rescue Site

origami wedding favors