I do sort of know how you feel, Jilly.
I share my educational interests with a few males, with whom I am (or was) quite friendly ~ but I very rarely spend time with them, and could never just ring them up and ask them if they would like to attend a meeting with me ~ even though my own husband has suggested it. Indeed, I haven't even seen these men in a few years.
Other males, with whom I have also been friendly, I don't see at all, any more. We may exchange family Christmas cards, but that's all.
It really is quite sad, but it simply isn't the done thing.