Hi. I've known this girl for 4 months; I'm 39 and she is 26; I work with her. We hanged out mostly in groups and she is the type of girl who has lots of male friends; we also hanged out together on a few occasions going for a coffee and eating at her place and my place. Besides the times we hanged out together, we also hanged out with a common friend of us; she would text him so he could join some of our activities; but, as I had said, there were many times we spent time together. I do not think there's something happening between them, they are just good friends; nor she has someone else. I flirted a lot with her: told her that I do not know whether to date her or adopt her, that she is beautiful, etc; she enjoyed it a lot; I also flirted with her in front of other friends; she also used to say things like she just dressed like that for me (she used to come beautifully dressed when going out with friends), etc. But I also gave her mixed messages like told her that I was not available, etc. I even showed her a picture together with a female friend of mine whom I had visited a week ago; she knew that the girl on the picture was just a friend. Way earlier, she also told me that there was not one under her radar (when I asked whether she was interested in someone).
A month ago, when she left for a two week trip, I told her that I will miss her on various occasions; she told me once that she will miss me and that things will not be the same without me. While she was gone, I wrote her emails but she only answered to one of them and I was a little mad about it; when she came back, I told her that I was a little mad she did not write me, specially knowing that she knows I miss her; and she got emotional and she said that such will not happen again; she was very receptive and open. That day we also made jokes and I told her that I was not available when she alluded jokingly to the age difference; I did that kind of in a defensive way; and I also told her that I did not want to be one more of her many friends...
But from then on things started to change and she started to decline any attempt of mine of hanging out with her or even walk her home; now there's no emails, no skype text conversations like we used to have, no text messages, etc. I saw her yesterday with a group of friends and I behaved naturally and making the same jokes I used to make; she seemed a little annoyed but still laughed. But definitely she is not the same and I feel her far away. Another thing is that when we met yesterday with a group, I was leaving and asked her to give her my number to another female friend of ours, and she jokingly said that she had erased my phone number from her phone. My theory is that she thinks I like her more than friends (because I had tried to go for a walk with her and I told her I cared about her and missed her, etc.) Probably after adding two and two she realized that all the flirting was for serious or something. The new thing is that her mother is coming to visit her and she might be afraid of me making my jokes in front of her or something. I did not know whether I wanted a romantic relationship with her; I really appreciated for what she is and her personality and we had so many things in common; I admired her a lot. She was a great person to joke around and be around. But her behaviour now makes me think she probably thinks I like more than a friend and she got scared or something; but we are talking about a very independent girl with a masters degree and professional, etc. Any ideas on what could be going on? Like the only time she contacted me through skype was a few days ago when there was an earthquake and she asked me whether I felt that; but I know that the conversations with our other friends are ongoing and open all the time. Any input will be appreciated!
This is the skype conversation we had just before things started to come down:
ME, whar r u up today | Her: working on an assignment. probably through the evening,. you? | Me: was thinking about going for a walk; weather if good; intetested to take a break? | her: would've loved to but cant afford a break. | Me:
| Her: im kinda screwed with this work | Me: sorry
| Her: im sorry. enjoy ur walk though.| Me: no problem; hope you are not taking revenge lol | Her: revenge against what? | Me: against my being a little mad at you or turning down your invitation last week | Her: no no. im seriosuly screwed and im not petty and revengeful like you | Me: actually i felt sorry for not making time when you told me last week to finish my work so we can "hang out" | Her:
|Me: oh my gosh; im not like that | Her: im kidding. | Me: you know how much I care about you. anyways, just to let you know that I'm there and I will let it be; when you are free and/or feel you want to hangout, let me know | Her: thanlks a lot! have fun in the meantime, ill see you saturday for sure. | me: ok!. take care and do not stress too much busy bee. later [saturday we had a group activity]
Thank you for your input.
