Hi, I'm 19 and I'm currently going through a lot of drama in my life
It's quite a long story so I thank whoever reads this
I met this guy last semester (August) at college in a lab. He's cute and really nice, but the fact is that back then I had a boyfriend, so he only waved hi at me and spoke to me when I was alone, like a totally normal guy that respects a couple (and a guy's girl). The thing with my boyfriend is that he used to be very jealous, which lead us to break up back in December. Ironically, a week after we broke up he came up to me while I was sitting at college and started a nice convo. Minutes into the conversation, he asked me why I wasn't with my guy. I told him we had recently broken up, and he nodded, but seemed kinda interested. So he asked me more, but I just told him what you tell people in general (you know, it wasn't working, etc. I didn't really want to talk about it and much less with someone I barely knew). In the end he changed the subject and told me he wanted the new year to bring him a girlfriend.
We ended up talking for a while and in the end somehow he asked me to write down his number so he could lend me a book for a class. He asked me for mine and I gave it to him. Christmas came and we never called each other. Things kept going worse with my ex, etc. New semester started so I needed the book. I called him and we talked for a few minutes, and we agreed to meet up so he could give me the book. That day he told me if I wanted to study with him for the MCAT (we both want to be doctors). Since then, we've been "studying" every week and we've gotten to know each other better.
The thing is.. that my ex still wants to be with me even though I made it clear that I just wanted to be friends. He's kinda stalking me, to the point that the first time I studied with this other guy, he was there all the time! So next time I saw him he told me he'd felt really uncomfortable with my ex "watching" over me. Since then he's been telling me to get away from my ex; things like, if you don't want to go back then get away, push him away, ignore his calls, don't talk to him, etc. Also, I've noticed he gets upset when my ex calls me (he starts sighing heavily, looks away to the side or simply stares at me with a strange face, like "you going to answer or u want me to throw the cell phone away for you?" he's actually told me that).
It was the week before Valentine's Day and we were going to study (which by the way, we haven't done much because we always end up talking about other things). He suggested we ate something and we went to this nice place(not fancy but not a fast food either). The point is that he ended up paying and said it was his Valentine's gift. I joked, saying that I owed him something, and he replied "yes you do, and you better be creative". I got him a chocolate (I know, not creative XD) and then he said "I'll think about you when I eat it". A week after we even went to the movies, but it was something out of nowhere and simply friendly.
The thing is that I'm confused because he says these nice things like "you're a valuable girl", "you're different" and "pretty", he also says "I don't know why the hell you were with that guy," and "cut it with him, take him out of you're life because you don't know how many guys you've missed for being with such a jerk". He's also told me he likes girls being a certain way, and then he tells me in another conversation to be that way (ex. "I like girls that are very confident" -- "You should be more confident" -- "I like girls that wear 'this' " -- "You should wear 'this'"). And last but not least, he hates my ex. He insults him every time he gets a chance and tells me to get over him every five minutes. Today, we were studying and my ex was calling me A LOT. I was ignoring him of course, and then my friend went to the bathroom. Suddenly my ex popped out of nowhere and glared at me from where he was standing. We pretty much just stared at each other for a few mins, then he turned around and left. My friend came over almost immediately looking xxxxxx, and told me "you've got to be kidding me! He's xxxxxxx sick I swear!" I told him not to get involved if anything happened, and he said "no, if I have to kick his xxx` then you'll see me do it. I'm so getting you some pepper spray, ASAP." And he just kept insulting him.
So what's the deal? I don't know if I like him because I'm still not over my ex, so I'm sure it could be mixed feeling or just the loneliness acting up. But what about him? He only calls to plan when we're meeting to study, but when we meet up we don't shut up. We know a lot about each other in such little time, yet I don't think it's enough for him to be protective around me as a good friend (like some of my other friends who I've known for years). I don't understand; perhaps I'm thinking about it too much?
