RomanceClass.com Forums Romance Breaking Up this is so hard..

long post. i didnt want to do this because this gets me feeling so cheesy but i feel so torn apart right now. me and the girl went out for a year and a half. than everything became sour when she went to NYU (im in Maryland). All summer long we prepared for this, we were gonna get through this, become stronger, than once she got to NYU everything changed. i had trouble being in contact with her because she always was out trying to make new friends, which is understandable. i also hated her partying and drinking because it left me insecure and feeling like she would make a bad decision. first forward a couple of weeks. one day we had this really bad fight and we decided to take a break, after the first week she said she couldn't do this. that she was stressing to much about school and i was beginning to stress her out to. she said to give her space and that this was for the both of us. Keep in mind, shes the type of person who doesn't like getting close with guys, like hugging and touching. Thats what kept me sane during out break, knowing she wont make any mistakes like that. she said to me that when we were doing this that we would get together at the end. she assured me everyday there was no one in new york that looks good, or that shes remotely interesting. fast forward to yesterday, i was fighting for us to get back. I sacrificed everything, i changed my personality to benefit the relationship. I learned to keep my anger under control and everything, and it was frustrating because this one time she was the one that was always pushing me back saying how much she loves me but shes just so stressed right now. She said that she doesn't deserve someone like me, and i said that doesn't matter, i love you to much to let you go. than after we made up, 10 minutes later, she called me to say she had to tell me something. and i knew it, she made out with a guy (with tongue, which upsets me more). She said it was a big mistake but i didn't know how to react. What do i say in a situation like that? I STAYED FAITHFUL DURING THE BREAK, CAUSE SHE PROMISED ME WE WOULD GET BACK TOGETHER. She said she only did it cause it she was so stressed. what do i do... i feel so torn apart. even though it happened during out break, her assurances were the only things that were keeping me alive. knowing she wouldn't do that.. i love her so much but i feel as if i cant over look this. she never sacrificed anything for me but claims that she loves me alot. i feel just so empty right now. its like, if she calls me tomorrow saying lets get back together, i know even though it may not be a good idea, i would still do it. cause i just want to be with her. i just dont know what to do anymore. she loves me, yet doesnt show it. she actually got agitated because i got so upset about this. she said “IT HAPPENED wHEN WE WERE ON OUR BREAK. DAMN. I ALREADY SAID SORRY” i dont want to feel this xxxxxxx anymore. these past few weeks have been the hardest ever.