A far as your husband helping a workmate is concerned, I really don't think that you should worry. He was being helpful ~ and you were there too.
My husband goes all over the country with female colleagues. When we were first married he used to work away for weeks at a time and sometimes female colleagues were with him. The thing is, I knew the women, and I trusted him and all was well ~ I did & do tease him about it sometimes, though.
If your husband has given you no reason to distrust him, then I see no reason why you should.
Of course, there are going to be times when men and women are tempted, and no-one, I suppose, can be 100% certain that it will not happen to them, but to worry about your marriage being over, because you both helped a woman to move house, seems to be worrying unnecessarily to me.
Mothers worry about their kids, but they also put their own hang-ups onto their kids. Look at this objectively, not through the eyes of someone who felt that she could not trust her husband.
As for sending money to parents, I understand that this is common amongst people whose family live in the developing world. I think that it is partly a cultural thing, and partly to do with 'giving something back' to people who live in often poverty-stricken countries. This may or may not be the case with your husband, but it might explain it.
Of course, as his wife, your view on this should matter, but perhaps it was something planned before you met him?? Did you know about it from the beginning?
You say that you love your husband, but may not be 'in love', and that you think that this may be common. I think that love is bound to change over the years. Youthful passion may give way to mature comfort and companionship, but I think that there should always be a special spark. I still feel that way and I've known my husband since 1974.
However, in marriage it is not going to be wonderfully perfect every single day of every single year. For most people there are going to be ups & downs. On 'off' days, you may feel the love, but not the spark. Off days can be caused by worrying about your job, your health, your Mum, your marriage, your desire for children, etc, etc.
Depression is a serious matter, but you may not be suffering from this. You may be down because you are anxious and upset.
You are talking about divorce ~ have you objectively thought about why?
Don't let someone else's assumptions affect your marriage.
Don't let your lost job affect your marriage.
Don't let your husband's innocent offer of help to a colleague affect your marriage.
Only be concerned if you really feel that you don't love each other any more ~ and it is going to be difficult to really know how you feel with all these thoughts going round in your mind ~ so don't make hasty decisions.
Only be concerned if you really feel that your husband has feelings for the woman he helped, and vice versa. This must be what is worrying you, but is there any evidence of this at all?
You need to really talk over the money issue. If you agreed to it, originally, then he might find it hard to understand why you feel differently now. When mixed marriages occur, this can be one of the problems ~ how to compromise.
Are you wasting your time on this marriage?
Only you know that.
If the negative feelings that you are having are recent, then they may just be associoated with all the confusion in your mind.
If you have been having doubts for longer, then you need to give this serious thought. Perhaps some kind of marriage counselling would help.
As for children, they say that you should never have a baby in an attempt to save a marriage, but if you do love each other and being childless is contributing to your unhappiness, then, once everything is sorted out and your life is back on an even keel, maybe this will be something to look forward to.
By the way, what does yor husband feel about all your anxieties?
Good luck!
