Oh dear Rebecka, you do need to sort some things out and at 14 I think you are going to need some help.
I have a daughter and other young relatives around your age and (I know at your age you may not want to hear this) really you are still just a child ~ an older child, verging on womanhood ~ and a mother ~ but still a child.
I feel that childen need their mothers - especially teenage girls ~ so I do feel that it is sad if your Mum made you leave home. However ~ something kids find hard to understand ~ parents are just human; just children grown older. They are not perfect and they cannot always cope with everything their own children throw at them.
The fact that you are asking for advice tells me that you want to be responsible and to do the right thing.
I don't know what you mean by doing "stuff", but if it was negative and causing a rift with your mother, then I hope you have stopped doing it ~ especially now that you are a mother, yourself.
I am going to make a few comments & pose a few questions to help you to think about what is and has been going on in your life:
Does your Mum know about the babies?
Were you still at home when you gave birth?
Does she see them?
Are you in touch with her?
Was she supportive of you before this?
Now to your 'relationship' with your 'friend' Jason.
You saw him as a friend.
You thought you were a virgin, but discovered that you were pregnant. That must have been a shock!
He told you that he had spiked your drink, in order to have sex with you without your consent ~ and even told you that it was rape??
He has a girlfriend but you feel obligated to have sex with him on a regular basis ~ or did you mean that you were his girlfriend?
He has your twins because you feel that he can care for them better than you can.
Ok, ...
Why do you think that he can look after the children?
Or would it be his sister?
If you live with them, why can't you look after them?
Why are you having anything to do with a boy who you believe raped you and to whom you feel obligated to have sex?
You are a minor ~ legally you should not be having sex with anyone & morally you should not feel forced to have sex ~ especially if you feel violated by this person. Spiking a girl's drink to force sex on her is not the bahaviour of a friend.
Your body is yours ~ remember that!
No sex unless you decide that it is right for you!
You said 'I wanna stop but I'm afraid he won't take it well.'
What do you mean by 'I'm afraid he won't take it well'?
Are you actually 'afraid'?
How might he react?
Do you feel that you love him?
Do you believe that he loves you?
You may already be a Mum, but sex and pregnancy were not your choice. What happened to you was very, very wrong.
You do not have to continue to have sex!"
And do not allow yourself to become pregnant again.
Does your Mum know that you believed yourself to be a virgin when you found yourself pregnant?
Are you caring for yourself as a new young mother should?
Are their support agencies near you for teenage mums?
Is there any chance of building bridges with your Mum?
Does she know the full truth?
A raped 14-year-old daughter with twin babies really needs her Mum, if her mum is at all capable of helping her.
A 16 year old boy with health problems and a nature to force sex on a child is not the right person to be helping you, in my opinion. I do not know you, or him, or your Mum, so I do not really know the situation; I can only comment on what I have read.
Get some advice and help from an adult you can trust ~ really trust.
You are a Mum now. Look after yourself and your babies.
How are your children?
How do you feel about them?
You said that this boy raped you in a very matter-of-fact way - especially for a young virgin girl.
Have you reported it to the authorities, eg the police?
Have you told anyone?
Have you had counselling about it?
How do you feel about having been raped?
Do you feel abused and violated?
Do you remember it?
Do you actually feel as if you have been attacked?
You seem to just accept having sex ~ yet you are not happy about it.
How much does this bother you?
Again, do you feel violated?
do you feel afraid of him?
Or are you a willing partner at the time?
Or are you just numb to the whole business?
Could you have post-natal depression?
This boy may behave as he does because he has medical problems ~ but he cannot drug and rape girls.
This is disgraceful, unnacceptable & illegal behaviour!
At the very least he needs help.
And other girls need to be protected from this kind of behaviour - as you should have been protected from it.
Is anyone actually taking care of you?
In time, when you are mature enough to do so, you may fall in love with a young man who loves and respects you ~ you and your children.
What you have now is not a loving family relationship.
I can understand why you want to live somewhere else.
If the relationship with your Mum is one that can be rebuilt, I would recommend that you tell her everything, and try to make friends with her again. If you and your babies could go home and get the care that you all need, that could be the best thing.
You may all need some counselling if that is available.
Is there a doctor or nurse or similar agency who could support you?
You need help, support, advice and care.
Tell your Mum the whole story and ask for her support.
Hopefully you can work this out together.
I wish you a lot of luck.
Have pride in yourself and believe in yourself.
You can sort this out.
You have taken the first step by coming on here.
People in the USA will be able to help you better regarding helpful agencies.
I feel that it is a matter of great concern that you are still involved with a boy who admits to having raped you, and who still expects sex from you when you do not want this.
Apart from anything else, you are under age.
I do not know what this boy's behaviour is like and whether you might be fearful of his potential behaviour ~ are you worried about what he might do?
I feel concerned that this boy ~ only 16 himself and bahaving in this manner ~ is responsible for two tiny babies.
Please get some help.
If your Mum can't help, is there an aunt, a teacher, a social worker, perhaps?
Take care of yourself.
Keep positive!
Good luck!
