~ It's a rumour to make you jealous & make you realise that you need to be honest with her....
Then act upon it ~ tell her you love her and want her and don't want to share her with other men, but want her in your life and your child's life on a permanent, serious & monogamous basis. (Provided that this is true, of course.)
While I agree with most of this, I find that first part a bit troubling--the point it that he should NOT become paranoid. That's what we're trying to avoid because it can only lead to problems. There is almost no point to sitting down and trying to think before hand what's really going on without asking her, because that count's as jumping to conclusions, which can be hurtful on both sides. You know what they say about the word "assume," right? So don't do that to her. Don't disrespect the woman you love by putting words in her mouth, or assuming that you're inside of her head. I know that there is a possibility that she is disrespecting you by not telling you something that she should tell you, but disrespecting her by not giving her the benefit of the doubt and actually talking to her can only make things worse. So I stress: DO NOT
EVER JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. It neevr leads to anything good. Now, about the second part of what PDM said, I completely agree. You're not being completely honest with her or yourself when on the one hand, you talk about trust and it's OK for her to be with other people, but on the other hand, you're having to stop yourself from spying on her. This isn't healthy, and perhaps you need to come to terms with what it is you really expect out of this relationship. Don't lower your expectations for anybody, and don't be afraid of coming out hurt in the end. The thing that complicates things for you is that there is a child involved. For the sake of your 3-year-old, you don't want an unhealthy relationship. An unhealthy relationship can be very toxic to children, and you need to be protective and make sure that you're not with someone who's willing to hurt you. Because the best way to figure out how someone's going to treat you and your own is to look at how they treat other people. Since you have a child that she is involved with, then if she's cheating on you, then she's not just disrespecting you anymore. Children need stability. So keep that in mind. But again, I would like to emphasize that fact that you need to not make any assumptions about her. If this i the woman that you love, then you need to give her the benefit of the doubt, and have enough respect for her to sit down and actually talk to her. It may be one of those things that you laugh about later--you never know! Give her a chance to be the one to tell you what's going on--because all the information you have comes from unreliable sources...anyone that's not her is an unreliable source. Don't assume that you know everything--I assure you, you probably don't. Again, hope this helps!
