Im placing this post because to be honest i need to shout out loud what i am feeling right now.
My name is not important ( Im not English so excuse any typos ) but im 34 years old , married for 7 ( will be 8 in August) and what i want to share is a bit of my relationship story:
I know my wife for 15 years now , we started dating at the time we both were students and stayed together for 7 years until we dicided it was time to settle down and marry wich we did. Apart from regular discussions ( wich i think are normal ) our marriage always went well till about 2 years ago when in the summer time she came to me and confessed that she had an affair some time before ( not a physical one she told me) but that it was me she wanted and that she loved me, all this with lots of tears and regret.
So with all my love ( I love her more than life ) i told her that worse than living with this would be to live without her and things kept on going , for some time we were like in the 1st days of dating , could not be apart from each other but as all good things it eventually cooled down ( wich is also normal ).
Some time ago , about 3 months , i started to notice that she was distant ,far from me , almost like she was in another world , so i started asking her what was wrong , why was she acting like this.
She always told me it was a phase and it would pass , bla bla bla , u prob know what i mean , me , i started feeling down , more with each passing day , until i told her that i could not understand how she was able to see me like this and do nothing if she did love me.So i got this answer : "I dont feel any passion for u anymore" , damm it hit me like a bullet , i am a very passionate person , my passion for her climbs each day , not the other way around.But yes with time passion tends to get lower in a marriage.A few more days passed and she came and made me 2 questions about the computer ( did i mention i was a system engineer?) that really made me suspicious , so i went to do some phorensics on my home pc , and voila , she had created a new email (secret one) and with not much hassle i was able to find out that she was corresponding with someone in secret.Bullet number 2.
I went to her and asked her who it was and why was she keeping it a secret , she 1st got xxxxxx that i was looking through her things (Duh , like i would stay put ) but then confessed it was her ex-boyfriend that she left because of me ( we are talking 12 years have past since they last spoke) and that she was happy to know from him, etc etc. Still not convinced i went deeper and managed to see some of the emails he had sent her and found out that they were remembering the past , pretended to be valentines on February 14th and god knows what more.
Cant post anymore but i will post the rest today still to see if someone can give me some advice
Last edited by PDM; 04/16/07 10:45 PM.
