Dealing with an Ex
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My boyfriend and I broke up but the same day he called. His best friend today talked to me for the first time since I knew him. I don't have feelings for my ex anymore but I believe he still has feelings for me because he always smiles at me and tries to get close to me.
I like his friend as a friend but I am willing to be more than just his friend if he wants to. My question is what should I do to signal to my ex that me and him are no more and never will be anything. I told my friends that I wouldn't hook up with him again because I broke up with him for a reason so I won't hook back up with him ever again because he just might do the same thing he did for me to break up with him.
You talk about signalling your ex - just tell him!! If you guys were dating, it means you had been used to communication, honesty and trust. So tell him. In fact if you DIDN'T tell him when you broke up WHY you did, he definitely deserves to know. Tell him exactly what was wrong, and why you broke up, and why this means you won't date going forward. Yes, it's not easy. But if you're responsible enough to have dated him, you *owe* it to him to be honest and truthful when you break up, and tell him WHY.
Once he knows, sure, he can flirt. People love to flirt. It doesn't mean you will get back together. I would give yourself at least a few weeks before you start to think about other people though. You need a LOT of respect for the rebound phase of life. If you try to date someone else while you're on the rebound, it can really damage your chances of success with them.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com