He's Visiting the Go-Gos
Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I am 35, my boyfriend is 43 and we only see each other on the weekends right now cause he is in the military and stationed in the next state which is a 3 hours drive from me. The time we are together goes so fast as it is and before I know it it is time for him to leave again.
He likes to go out to the nearby go-go bar and drink a few beers while he is down here. It bothers me alot when he does that and we have had many talks about it. I trust him and I know he is faithful to me, I just don't like the fact that he is taking time away from us. And I must say that he does not go out while he is on base during the week cause there is no place for him to go to where he is stationed.
Am I being unfair not liking what he is doing? Please help me!
You know, he can drink beer anywhere. He can watch videos of naked women anywhere. For him to drive 3 hours to see you, and then choose to spend some of that time going out to a local bar so he can watch naked women dance doesn't seem right. Either he wants to spend this time with you or not. For him to choose to spend that time ogling other naked women isn't really reasonable.
Sure, there aren't go-go dancers near him. Undoubtedly there are BARS near him if he wants to drink. If he wants to look at naked women, you are there. But for him to actively cut into his time with you to look at other women is a bit much. It's one thing for a guy to look at porn because his girl isn't around and he wants a bit of excitment. It's another thing for him to finally get a chance to be with his girl, drive out to be with her, and then abandon her to go look at girly dancers.
Lots of guys don't GO to girly dance clubs in the first place. It's not one of those requisites of life. And many who do so wish they had a girlfriend and do it because they don't. He might want to start examining his priorities in life and what he thinks is important to spend his time on.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com