I forgave her, she forgave me
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hey again!Well this question is about what I asked you before (how my friend was being really bitchy to me).
So,I started ignoring her whole existence, and she seemed to be doing really well, always smiling and laughing.I felt horrible.She'd look over my way (the clock's right next to my desk) and I caught her looking at me a few times.I didn't know it meant anything thought, if it does..
Well anyway, two or three days later she emails me and asks me why I'm ignoring her and why I freaked out at her...I didn't technically tell her I didn't want to be friends..Just sort of freaked out and started ignoring her.There was a part of me that just didn't want to end it.
Basically, I just told her how I felt she treated me, and she just acted like that was the stupidest reason to get mad at someone for.I apologized, because I really felt like sh*t not talking to her.I asked for her forgiveness, but she just said "What's the point, you'll probabaly do it again anyway" (We fight A LOT..).
Then she had to go and put her MSN to away (this is all over MSN) and I just said "Fine, if you don't want to be friends, then it's cool, aslong as you're happy."
She emailed me later apologizing,saying how she still wanted to be friends, and saying she'd stop insulting me if I don't ignore her anymore..it sounded really sincere and all, but I don't know..
Anyways, I forgave her, she forgave me, and now it's all back to normal...FOR NOW.
I guess my question this time would be...is there a way to stop caring so much if someone insults you?I mean, her friends do it...but I just don't care, and it doesn't change anything.But when she does it, it just makes me feel bad, because this is the girl I LOVE and she's insulting me (supposively kidding too,according to her).
One more question would be, how do I hang out with her more outside of school?I hang out with her at the movies pretty much every weekend, but that's with her friends all the time.I never hanged out with her ALONE once.I guess I'm kind of scared that if I ask her, it'll make it seem like I like her...and everyone thinks we're a couple, and that I'm obsessed with her already as it is..so I don't want to scare her off.
I'm going to her friends birthday party, so I'll be able to hang out with her then. But still..I've never got around to asking her to do something alone...I'm extremely scared of getting rejected...I don't know why, but I am.
Sorry it's so long and most of it doesn't have any reason of being there..I guess a lot of it is just venting.Really sorry about that.Advice would be greatly appreciated, thanks!
Venting is good... don't worry about it.
When she makes fun of you, it should make you mad because you care so much about her. One thing to try is saying "Ouch!" whenever she hurts you. This will get the message across to her... but it may also annoy her so don't use it too much. Also, make a habit of saying nice things to her.
Ask her to hang out sometime but you should expect to be rejected. That way it won't hurt so much if she does reject you... but she might say yes. Why don't you ask her at her friend's party?
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com