I carried 95% of the responsiblities in the household
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have been in a 16 year relationship with the father of my kids. I love him but am not in love with him any more things are just not the same since a particular incident. I actually think I spent the last 4 years trying to make it work for the sake of my kids and hoping i would fall in love again. In the meantime Iam miserable, there may be hope but i am mentally and physically drained. I feel like i am in this alone, i carried 95% of the responsiblities in the household which has been most of the relationship. Its getting to the point where i dont want to come home and dont have respect any more. Im ready to throw in the towel but feel guilty already about hurting him and my children. Its like everyone in the house is happy or content except me. Do I put my self first and end this? Or do i sacrifice my happinest for the sake of my children hoping they wont rebel and spare his feelings?
My advice is to see a professional marriage counselor.
Divorce has financial, emotional, child related, family related, and friend related ramifications. Especially child related.
Even with counseling, I have mixed feelings as to whether things can be turned around after 16 years. Your husband's habits are pretty deeply settled now.
Items to focus on with the counselor:
the incident from four years ago;
the incredibly unbalanced household workloads;
the added burden of children who are reaching teen years;
the affect of divorce on children.
Take the bright outlook and imagine counseling making a difference and you won't be forced to take the drastic step of divorce.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com