I told her she needs to let go of him
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Me and my wife dated for about 8 months before we got married and things are going good and we are happy. My first thing is she lied when we first started dateing about how many people see had slept with and when we got more serious i said something about it and see said a new number swears in true but i still dont belive her what should i do.My second issue is she still talks about her boyfriend from 4 years ago she cant get over him and all she ever talks is how he treated her like crap and cheated on her all the time. Now she only wants to go out is when he comes around and get really excited talking about him and she said its just because he so much fun and knows how to have a good time and I really dont. I told her I didnt like the guy and I found out that right before the wedding he came in town and they hungout with a bunch of friends when i asked her who was there she didnt tell me he was there I later told her i knew and she said she didnt tell me because she didnt want to cause a problem before the wedding. The other night she said he was coming in town and he wanted us to go out with him and I told her no then to stop talking to the guy and she got upset and said that there was notthing to worry about they were just friends and he was like a brother to her. I told her I didnt carebecasue its a long story the guy was so bad to her see had to move 500 miles away from him. She said he said he was sorry and has changed and wants to make it up to her.I told her that there was notting he could do to make up for it. I told her she needs to let go of him becasue hes not a good person to have a friendship with.Why can she just not let him go and move on with me.
The answer to your first question is that you should forget the past.
It does nothing for you or your wife for you to drag this up now.
The second question is more complicated.
When you tell your wife she can't see her ex you might be pushing her into his arms. Most people (including you and me) would be offended if someone told us we couldn't see someone else... even if it was for a good reason.
My advice is to say you won't go out with them and that you are very much against her going out with him. Tell her you are uncomfortable about it because of the way he treated you.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com