Could she be my First Girlfriend?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Hi, im am currently 15 years old and has never had a girlfriend and i have never even have been seriously kissed in my whole life. Anyway, There's this girl that i know and im just wondering how to tell if shes trying to tell me she likes me or how do i tell her that i like her. I dont only like her cuz of her looks, shes also really nice to me and i think she might be trying to tell me something indirectly. I also want to know if i can tell her that i like her without being too direct becoause im not sure if she likes me back and it would be pretty embarrassing if she didnt like me. Please respond! Advice
The trick is not to just leap into saying things like "I like you, want to date me?" :) Obviously she likes you if she's nice to you. So you're asking if she likes you enough to spend more time with you. The easy way to find that out is to spend more time with her :) Don't make it a big deal, don't do long flowery speeches or make it stressful. Just start to spend more time with her. Walk to class with her, or to the library, or whereever she goes normally that you can tag along without it seeming really strange. Chat with her about classes.

Learn what she enjoys - is it backgammon? Parakeets? Ask her questions about her hobbies, *really* want to learn about it. Don't just humor her. Really care about her hobby. There is NOTHING that pleases a person more than finding another person who shares that same interest.

So now that you're spending time together and talking about fun things together, does she still smile when she sees you're coming to spend time with her? Then she likes you :) So find something hobby-related that is coming up - a parakeet show, a movie that she likes - and offer to go along with her. It's not "A Date". It's just two friends having fun together. Which is really what dating is all about!! But if you ease into it like this, it's never a stressful thing that she might get scared of and turn down because of the "fear factor". It's just comfortable, friendly, and fun. And if at some point you guys are going to dinner before movies, and buying each other presents at the holidays, then you're meant for each other :)

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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