The Girl at the Supermarket
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
Something strange but cool recently happened...I was at a grocery store and the cashier I went to was a really cute girl. I think she has the prettiest face I'd ever seen.
There's more... Later on that night, I took a train six stations over from the supermarket and I hung out with a girl I know there.
On my way home, at the train station, pretty far from the super market, I see the pretty girl!!! I couldn't believe it. We talked and she is really sweet. Then, we took the train back, and I forgot I didnt have money for the fare, and she paid for my ticket! I barely even knew her. I think this could be a sign from God or something incredible.
Now I'd really like to ask her out, but Im not sure of the best way to do so. Plus, she said she has a boyfriend, but she also said "he isnt going anywhere in life." I was thinking about waiting a week or two and going back to the supermarket to pay her back for the train fare and give her a pink rose or a box of chocolates or something. I just dont want to over-do it or mess it up...Is this a good idea? Do you have any suggestions? Since she has a boyfriend, I dont want to interfere, but I'd at least like to get her number for the future. Shes 17, Im 20.
Definitely don't go leaping in if she has a boyfriend - you don't want to be the one to break them up, because then later if you guys have ANY issues her brain is going to start going "Jeez I should have stayed with my LAST boyfriend but NOOOOOOOOO" and it'll all be your fault. You want her to leave him on her own, so that it's not an issue between you guys.
That being said, there's no reason to abandon a neat girl! The best foundation for any relationship is always a great friendship. And there's nothing wrong with being friends with her! You guys have already talked which is great. You know something about her. So make sure you go to that supermarket every so often, maybe every 3-4 days. Chat with her in line. Also scope out any coffee shops in the area. One of the times, ask her if she'd like to grab a bite to eat after work, just to chat. Don't make it into a date! Again, the aim is NOT to stress her out with the thought that she's dating two guys. The aim is to be nice, friendly, someone she likes to talk to.
Hopefully after a little while of this she'll realize all on her own that she likes you much more than her other boyfriend and will break up with him. At that point, you're already a "trusted friend" that she knows she enjoys being with. And there you go!
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com