He does not feel that he is wrong
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend is 22 and I am 27. He did not want to get into a relationship till I said that I wanted one and I told him that if he was not going to commit that he was going to lose me. We have fun together all the time, we like the same things but lately we have been fighting. I feel like he does not know how to be in a relationship and when his friends ask him to do something, even if he is with me he puts them first. When I explain my feelings he feels threatened I guess, and because he does not feel that he is wrong, he fights with me. We are both the type that can not stand fighting but lately I feel that he is being someone else, and hiding things from me because he thinks I would be upset and we would not fight. This is causing me to be even more on edge. I don't want to lose him but I don't know how to solve the problem without him feeling like he has to change, and he did not want to change in the first place that is why he did not want a relationship. I try to tell him that a relationship is a we thing not an I thing but I don't know if it is because he is too young...I love him and it hurts to think that we would have to break up but I don't know what else to do if I am not happy...how can I be mad at someone who does not think that they are doing anything wrong?
It's easy to be mad at someone who doesn't think they are doing anything wrong. The terrorists in 1991 didn't think they were doing anything wrong... in fact the opposite.
You should be mad at your boyfriend because he is hurting you. And, worse yet, he is denying the validity of your concerns.
You hit the nail on the head when you said he is immature. That is probably the long and short of it.
My advice is to try to talk to him more but if that fails then dump him.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com