Why is he setting me up to be the bad guy?
Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I have been dating my b/f on and off for approx. 2 years. This last time we have been together since September, 2005. When he gets home from work, he says he's tired and drained from work. Doesn't carry on too much of a conversation. It seems like he isn't interested in me. Then on the weekends, he spends most of his time sleeping. Then he apologizes. I suspect that he spends most of his time on the internet or something.. but he would never admit it. Tonight, I called his line, he admitted talking to his friend. He was on the line for at least an hour. I note he doesn't spend more than 10 minutes talking to me. This past weekend, he said, he would hate to lose me.. wouldn't know what he would do without me. I don't know why other than the fact that I am moving and won't be able to spend much time together as much that he would keep saying that. On top of that he brought up my past, insinuating that I am a cheater. He has been helping me financially quite a bit. And in the midst of this.. he acts this way.. I don't know why he just doesn't admit the fact that he's losing interest or something. He tells me that he loves me.. but his behavior is sort of 1/2 and half. I confronted him tonight about the call and why is it that he can spend all this time talking to a friend, but not to me. He got very defensive and angry. He shouted at me. And accused me of keeping me from his friends. He has lied to me on a few occassions. I just don't know why he can't just be honest and break up with me? Why is he setting me up to be the bad guy?
You are right, it does seem like he wants to break up.
And perhaps he is trying to set you up as the heavy.
My advice is to drift away from him slowly. You are moving and that will be a good excuse. This way you can split up with him without being the bad guy. If he wants to change his ways to keep you he will try to and also let you know that he still cares.
But you probably know better and you will be happier for the split.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com