My boyfriend says that they are just really good friends

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I need some advice on a situation. I am a very honest person and expect the same from anyone else. I can become jealous when my trust has been violated. Here is what happened.

I have been dating a guy for 6 months. He has been dishonest about some little things which I have brought to his attention and reminded him on how I felt. I explained to him that if we are going to have a successful, happy and solid relationship then we must always be honest even when we think that other person may not like what we have to say. I personally can handle almost anything as long as the other person is upfront with me. I can’t say I like to hear he is going out without me, but tell me ahead of time not after the fact.

There was once we got into it because even though we had discussed not going to certain websites. The kind where you go to meet other people to have “adult” activities. He kind of had a lame accuse but I asked him to delete the profiles and he did. Now I know that he had discussed this with what I was told was a platonic friend and keep in mind this friend also knows that I use his computer. Then this so called friend sent a picture of my boyfriend in a compromising position. He of course claims it not to be him but I know what my boyfriend looks like. I think he was embarrassed and I know I would be if he saw something like of me. I didn’t really push it too much since I do believe that it was in the past. I do know there were some alterations to the pic but not everything. It gets better…

I have since found out that this “friend” is actually a former boyfriend. This really burns me because once I pieced together the pic and his knowledge of how I feel about such things I feel like the friend was being malicious and maybe trying to start trouble with us. My boyfriend says that they are just really good friends now but I am struggling with the fact that they live down the street from each other, go out to dinner almost weekly, and my boyfriend confides in him about our relationship. I am really trying to get over this but this is a tough one for me. I have some concerns about him interacting with the former boyfriend. What should I do? Advice
You said you could deal with almost anything as long as it was up front.

This seems to be the situation you are facing. Your b/f goes out to dinner with someone else and discusses your relationship.

Can you live with that? I bet you can as it doesn't sound that threatening to me. But you have to decide for yourself. It usually isn't a good idea to make an ultimatum to another person because it alienates you.

My advice is to let it be.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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