It hasn't even been a week

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My ex fiance just broke up with me on new years day. She is pregnant and we had planned on getting married in mid feb 06. I have had two other notable times of having jealousy issues, one of which I'm told I had valid reasons, the other I ended up bring up this last time.

We are both divorced and she has two kids from two other guys this will be my first kid. We got to know each other and became best of friends over about 5 months. We've been dating since July and she proposed to me in october shortly before she became pregnant (which we had planned on). Anyways we went to a new years party where one guy in particular had been eyeing her all night, she knows him very well and i was bothered by her wanting to blow me off for him. She did this same thing on halloween. We have both also had in previous relationships been cheated on. We have discussed flirting and we had both agreed where the line was drawn and it was acceptable for both of us.

She was distant a week prior to the breakup and the friday before apologized saying that she was afraid and was having cold feet. We had been discussing postponning the wedding and I had told her I was fine with that to make sure that this is what she really wants to do. The day of the break up I had told her what I was upset about but I was a jerk, when she left to go grocery shopping I had tried calling and txt'ng her once each, the made the big mistake of emailing her before I had to go to work. I came back from work and she had a letter for me with the break up outlined as me bein too insecure as the bottom line. I love her so much more than anyone else including my ex wife and for lack of better terms we are retarded for each other. our friends have seen us together and have even said that we don't look like a couple in the honeymoon stage but as a couple that have been together for a long time.

I still live with her but now I stay in the downstairs and have roomie status, she's already told me that I can have custody of the child. What really breaks my heart is that her kids still keep telling me that they wish we would get back together. I know that it hasn't even been a week but I've been patient and leaving her alone, helping when asked and just giving her space. She seems very determined to stick with this decision and at least now is talking to me again as if we were still in the getting to know each other stage.

What do you recommend? Advice
As you said, it's only been a week.

You are doing the right thing so far. Give her space and see what happens.

Also give it time... it's been such a short time that this could blow over in the next week.

Maybe you could plan a Valentine's Day getaway for the two of you or the four of you. Keep letting her know that you love her... small presents are usually appreciated... how about candy, flowers, etc.?

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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