I have been in love with this guy from the moment that I laid eyes on him
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I think that my situation may be a little hard, but okay here it goes...I think that I have already met my soulmate, if they really exist. A little background info: I have been in love with this guy from the moment that I laid eyes on him. I was about 11 years old at the time and although that is young, it was definitely love at first site. We lost contact for some years and when we met back up the connection was even stronger than before, it was instant and we finally got together and were in a very deep non-sexual relationship for about 2 years. I broke up with him because I was afraid and I met someone else while he and I were together and instead of setting myself up and possibly cheating on him I just broke it off before I hurt him too much and before I got too deep with this new guy. I was with the new guy for a year. All the while I was a virgin, and my ex and I remained really close and even became even more so best friends. I could tell that I broke his heart and that he wanted me back. I soon realized my biggest mistake and we talked and we got back together and were together for another year and in that year we lost our virginity to each other. We were high school sweethearts, best friends, lovers, the whole package. We had the perfect relationship. In 2002, which was my last year of high school and his freshman year of college, I felt us drifting apart. We mutually agreed to break up (which was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do), but we knew that it was best. He initiated the breakup though, he called me. But anyway we have been apart since, but we talk to each other everyday on the phone, see each other when we can, we always have communication between each other. Even when I went away to college in another city and state we talked at least 3 times a week. I came back home to go to school and he wasn't seeing anyone and neither was I, in fact I was just getting over a bad breakup myself, which he knew about. I can honestly say that he is my best friend and he announces me to everyone who doesn't know me already as his best friend. He soon started talking to a girl and he really likes her. He kept saying that he wanted me to meet her but I never did. He was shot about 2 weeks before Thanksgiving of 2005 and was in the hospital. I went to see him almost everyday, the whole two weeks he was there. His mom and I are close. I don't tell her nearly half the things that I tell him but his mom and I can talk about things. When she needed a break from sitting with him at the hospital, she would call me not his girlfriend. But it was in the hospital that I met his girlfriend and she met me. She told me that she hears a lot about me. She is really nice but she was nothing special as far as I could see. Just being there with him and seeing him like that in the hospital, getting the phone call from his mom that he had been shot, it made me look at my feelings for him even closer. My feelings for him are so strong, if not stronger than ever before. I never wanted us to break up in the first place, so my feelings for him have never died. They have always been strong, even to the point that if I were ever in a relationship before or even now and he told me that he wanted to be back together, I'm not proud of myself for this but, I would dump the guy I was with in a heartbeat because HE IS MY SOULMATE. People say that you will know when it happens, well this is definitely it. My big dilemma is that he sends me mixed signals. He flirts when we are together, just a little too touchy feely for a friend, especially a best friend. We reminisce about when we were together, we make each other laugh, we call each other for advice. I just can't tell if he thinks about us getting back together and I am afraid to ask. He says that he loves his girlfriend. I want him to be happy and I know that although she is a nice girl she's not the one for him. I know that he loves me, I know that I am the best woman for him. I can honestly say that I would do absolutley any and everything for him. My love for him is truly UNCONDITIONAL. I think that he does feel the same way about me but I just don't know what is holding him back. I am so afraid to spill my guts to him even though he is my best friend. I am so afraid of what he might say, if my heart will be broken again, and if THAT can be repaired. I'm scared to loose his friendship, I'm scared that he will MARRY THIS GIRL if I wait too long to tell him. I don't know if this is even the right time to tell him because he's in this relationship. I don't know where to begin when I do tell him. I just really need advice. He is my best friend and my ex-boyfriend (which his girlfriend doesn't know by the way and he has no intentions on telling her because his past girlfriends couldn't handle our being best friends and exes.) What do I do? What do I say? Please help me figure this out. I apologize if this is long, I just wanted to make sure that you had the whole story. Thanks you for your time, I know that it is valuable, I been dealing with this dilemma for years now and it's only getting harder and harder for me. PLEASE HELP ME.
It's time for you to open up to him and tell him how you feel.
You may get your heart broken, but that is better than having him marry and only later find out that he really loved you too. And, even if he breaks your heart now there is always the future to hope for.
There is something between you that is so very strong that I think you should go for it.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com