I'm Jealous, help!
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend flirts with other girls in front of me, He says he's not flirting that he is only talking, it hurts me soo much. I think does he want to be with them and not me. He has this girl as a friend, she wants to go out with him. He won't let me meet her, he says they are only friends and that he only loves me.
We have been going out for 10 months. I moved in with him 6 months ago. Before he was gone all the time I never got to see him, now he's always home. I don't feel that I am good enough for him, he's a good looking guy, I see the way girls stare at him.
He said that the only way he will ask me to marry him is when I start trusting him. I love him with all my heart, how do I learn to trust him?
Well good for him for realizing this was a serious problem and that if you are like this your married life would turn into a living hell for both of you. He says he loves you. It sounds like you are extremely insecure and jealous, if he can't talk to women without you being upset. It sounds like he's even afraid to introduce his female friend to you because you would harass her for being his friend.
You say yourself that you feel you're not good enough for him. So despite him telling you he loves you and only you, you are constantly second-guessing him, figuring that he MUST be preparing to leave you for someone else because you're not up to his standards. Since this is all imaginary and in your brain, it's not like he can "fix it". Only YOU can fix it.
I have a how-to on jealousy -
but it sounds like you are having serious troubles with this. I honestly would recommend going to a therapist. Something like this is going to destroy your relationship with your current guy and then destroy any other relationship you have too, unless you get it under control. You need to find out why you have such a low self-esteem and then work on repairing it. But it sounds like you really need some help with that.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com