I'm 27 but my b/f prefers 42 yr old woman
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My x & I broke up 4 months ago. He's 31, divorced w/ 2 kids. I'm 27, no kids, never married. I am totally in love w him and he's dating an old woman! She's 42 & expected a ring 4 Xmas! We were 2gether 4 2 yrs & often talked of marriage. I know things won't last w her. I know he's miserable, but still uncertain. We still talk & I'm trying to just be friendly, but it's killing me! I don't want him to think he's got me on the back-burner. He knows I care about him & his happiness & his girls mean everything 2 me. "she" doesn't even acknowledge the girls r around, she just wants his attention. His girls can't stand her! He is an incredible father & his girls have always been priority. He told me 2 days ago that she hates me because the girls love me, he also told me that he made it perfectly clear 2 her that I would always be his friend & if it ever came 2 me or her watching or spending time w the girls, it would be me. When we do speak he's always unloading about how unhappy he is & all his troubles. He's never had anyone 2 depend on, not even his parents. I know I can't fix him & I sure as heck don't want 2 say anything 2 drive him further away from wanting 2 b w me. Should I just give it more time & keep being the friend? Not best friends or even pals, just a friend? I told myself a few months ago that if he had 2 date this chick or anyone else 2 realize that I'm the one, then I wanted him 2 do it now. I don't know if I can stand it! I have already 4given him 4 everything & I choose to love him. I think he still loves me 2, but I think he feels like he's hurt me 2 much & is still uncertain. I have been dating a little & will continue 2 do so, I need to worry about me. It just ticks me off cause I only want him! Good, bad, ugly, all of him! Will he ever realize what he had? We had an awesome relationship & he would often make comments about how he didn't understand how my past boyfriends could ever let me go. I don't get it. He let me go!(well, I broke up with him, because he was uncertain) I deserve to be valued! What should I do?
From the way you describe it, it seems you two are perfect for each other.
So why is he still dating this other woman? I don't understand it.
My advice is to stay close to him as a friend and eventually he will realize that you are the right one to be in his life. Constantly reassure him that he is a good person and that you appreciate him.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com