I don't know how to be friends with someone who I still love
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I still love my ex boyfriend. Its been about 9 months since we broke up. He broke up with me and said he was confused. Never gave me a real reason. Anyway, he lives in another state. I haven't seen or heard from him since we broke up. Then I heard from him the other day on instant messenger. We started talking and he mentioned he wanted to see me when he came to town. He never called but then he instant messaged me the next day and apologized that he was too busy to see me. Thats fine. I was really busy with the holidays anyway. He said things like he missed me but then he started with the sexual memories trying to have internet sex or something. I told him that i didn't really do that and he told me that he didn't even have to try. He just wanted to remind me how good it was. I was thinking god what an ego. I still love the guy anyway. I was a virgin when i slept with him so it makes it worse i think. He joked with me about getting together and messing around. I don't know how to be friends with someone who I still love and am so attracted to that even though he shouldn't he still gets to me. He doesn't know that i am not completely over him. I think if he did he would run away fast. Am I completely nuts. And does he just want me for sex when he comes to town or is he just being himself and joking around as usual. I don't know how to take this.
When he jokes about sex, it is partly just joking and also an expression of his desire to have sex with you.
The odds are high that he is only interested in sex since he hasn't contacted you in such a long time and then cancelled your get together.
Since you still love him, my advice is to either cut him off or to try to become his good friend (with benefits if that is what you want.) It is up to you to figure out how much you love him and how far you are willing to go to get him back.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com