They've forced me to stay with them a few more months

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've been seeing my boyfriend(he's 27 -- I'm 22) for 2.5 years now almost - and we recently moved out together into a nice 2 bedroom apartment. The beginning of our relationship my parents did like him as they saw that he was taking care of me (picking me up from University, taking me groccery shopping...etc) as they were on a posting overseas. When things got more serious they started disliking him - also, when they heard about his past (being a survivor physical and sexual abuse, having no paretns, being in debt). His past has been a lot to handle but I am okay with it as I love this man with all my heart.

He has tried proving to them that he is a honest and nice man. He has fixed our family computer when it broke, he fixed our deck and painted it for them, he has also tried his best to find a good job in computer tech support.

My parents don't like my boyfriend but in the past few months they've stopped telling me their comments about him (IE: he's a loser... what are you doing with him!) He didn't come for our Christmas lunch the other day and they're restarted with their comments. Things have snowballed in the past few days. I feel sick physically and mentally knowing that they can't except the man I love. They've forced me to stay with them a few more months before I permentally move out with him.

Is there a way to make them stop being so cruel with their words and actions. My life is stressful and I can't take them not liking him - I feel like I am falling into a depression.

Thanks. Advice
You've been going out with this guy for 2.5 years.

If your parents aren't used to him by now it will take a small miracle to bring them around now.

You say they have forced you to stay with them but you didn't say how they forced you. Do they have some financial control over you? If not, then it is probably emotional control and you need to fight against it.

You should move in with him as soon as possible. Insist that he be invited to family events. If you don't do this now, it might not happen.

The only way to get your family to change is to demand it of them. Also, it would help if your boyfriend could get a good job. He is 27 and should be able to find one.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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