A pseudo Don Juan who wouldn't cross the line
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
My partner 38 yrs old has told me that he has had about 70 sexual experiences.Initially,when he would describe his different adventures or go off into a reverie,reminiscing,I didn't mind.After the 40th story I started to feel overloaded and felt that his reminiscing didn't give me an understanding of who he is today but as if he wanted me to be a witness to his sexual experiences.He often recounts his sexual fantasies to people and at parties and in front of me such as"I was looking at a book today full of all the women I want to have sex with" In nearly every conversation we have he talks about his sexual past or that he would kick me out of bed to have sex with this or that movie star"His flirtations are very ambiguous where quite often women he meets try to hit on him and are usually extremely beautful.I feel that he is leading some of these women on as he only tells them that he has a girlfriend once they have taken the step to ask him out or seduce him in some way.He also tells people publicly that when he was young he had sex all night and now it lasts only 20 minutes and other things to imply that sex in a monogamous relationship is boringI love him but I am losing trust in him not because he would be unfaithful which I don't believe he would but he is always giving the impression that he is a Don Juan and is obsessed with nearly everyone knowing that he has had lots of women and the way he speaks is ambiguous it seems like he is talking in the present..He seems to live in a world of absolutely beauiful women who I never meet and he also tells me that men think that he is hitting on their girlfriends.I told him that I was finding it hard especially socially.He became very angry with me and said I need psychological help.I don't want to change him and I did'nt ask him to change.He tells me I am jealous and insecure.I understand that he loves beautiful women and that he is a natural flirt who can't do otherwise(his words)and that he has fantasies like most healthy people but I'm afraid he leads women on in his flirtations and I feel embarrassed when he speaks publicly about the women he would like to have sex with in front of me at every social gatheringIs it possible to live with a pseudo Don Juan who would'nt cross the line but goes a bit too far?Am I reacting in a jealous or insecure way?I know he needs me but his public persona is very confusing.Merry Christmas!Continue doing the great work helping the young and not so young with your advice
He is saying some hurtful things that reflect on you.
Have a talk with him and give him examples of things he says which hurt your feelings or make you feel lesser in the eyes of his audience. In one way it is good for him to be so free in his expressions, especially since you are so tolerant of them. But the other side is when he goes too far and hurts you and offends others.
If he is a decent man, he will be happy to compromise with you.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com