Flirting with the Coffee Girl

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I go to a coffee shop quite often to drink coffe (obviously), hang out with my friends and study for my classes. Every time I go there I notice this girl who works there, and we only have brief exchanges of employee to customer sentences, and for some reason I like her and I notice her looking in my direction every once in while. And each time I'm there I really want to go up and ask her out but my seemingly better judgement about the situation stops me and then I kick myself when I leave. And I've never done anything quite as spontaneous as that. So, what I'm wondering is; is it a bad idea to to go up and get her number or give her mine? Advice
It's not usually a wise idea to walk up to a stranger and ask them out on a date :) A date is supposed to be about someone you like and want to get to know romantically. So instead of leaping head-first into date-land, try something more along the get-to-be-friends route.

She can't be in there 24 hours a day. So if she seems to be on the late shift, go in there when the store has an hour before it closes. Go in with 2 books and ask her which one she thinks you should read. And when she chooses one, ask her why she made that choice. Now at least you know some small thing about her. Usually when employees are closing up there are only a few people in there and they get more chatty, they're less worried about taking care of everyone. So maybe you can now strike up a conversation with her and talk some more. And maybe when you're getting ready to go you can ask her to come along to a local bar to keep talking. But your aim should be a "I'm friendly and we enjoy talking" sort of approach - not a leap into "You don't even know me, now spend a whole dinner with me." :)

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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