We will be together in better future for a reality relationship
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I kno a guy E online. when i began to feel his sincerity, i accepted his love. he told his family that he found his happiness(me) n plan to marry me. we both knew of the distance, times n military which he gotta go thru. we both were very understandin n willin to give n take so well.
After i got a webcam, things go different. he got obsessed of my beauty that he got jealous of every lil thing. his imagination runs wild. when i told him im hanging out at nite with frens, he will think something bad. he told me he cant help himself from these thoughts cus of our distance. he knew he can trust on me but then his evil thots.....
I trusted him like hell yea. but he kept feelin that i got no trust on him at all. i dunno wut makes he think this. to me, it is him, who got no trust on me at all. well, i understand wut he goin thru(havin bad thots as he is so obsessed), so i always stay home, b online for him, n send him sms every now n then to let him kno im not foolin around. but he still dont feel secured.
In the end, he told me, we cant b together cus he cant keep me happy, n that i dont trust him at all. What the hell man! he even said its all about distance. How sad can i be. When he knew from the start that this online relationship is a first stage for us to be together in better future for a reality relationship. wut should i do? i think he is a really nice guy whom i consider worth it for me to do anything to get him back. BUT what is that 'anything' that i must do, especially to let him feel that i truly truly trust him n accept his handicap(obsession n jealousy). i can deal with him but he is jus moving away from me. all i need advice from u is how to bring him back n start to show love to him. He then told me now, he gotta g/f. But he wants me as a fren, cus he knew he cant go on without me totally out of his life. thats y i know y he need me as a fren. so his g/f rite now, is jus a substitution of me. i know it very well if i recognise our love. but im sure he isnt aware of wut he is doin. please help me to pull him back to his consciousness at full level. thanx
RomanceClass.com Advice
Your situation is a puzzle and I'm not sure if I have a good answer.
As I understand it your long distance boyfriend is jealous and obsessive over you. But at the same time he is saying you don't trust him regarding his jealousy.
The best you can do is to tell him you still love him and that you trust him. Try to get him to understand that he has no reason to mistrust you. Explain that you are willing to live with his handicap and that you have adjusted your behavior already based on his feelings.
You have already tried this, but that is the only thing I can think of that might change his feelings. Could it be possible that he really likes his girl friend and he found a gentle way to break up with you?
Hope things turn out well with you. George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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