logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Commit yourself wholeheartedly and unconditionally to the most important people in your life. --Brian Tracy



She Cries about her Boyfriend on my Shoulder



Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I met a girl last summer and we have become really close over the last couple of months. I consider her to be my best friend and i know the feeling is mutual. I really like her a lot but she has a boyfriend who she is constantly fighting with. She always comes to me with her problems about her boyfriend and i always seem to help her out and make her feel better. She seems to be fighting with him at least once a week now and they always break up but get back together right away. As i said before i really like her a lot and i would love to start a relationship with her but because of her boyfriend i cant do that. Do i have a chance anytime soon and also since she is fighting so much with her boyfriend what advice can i give her because it seems like she just keeps gettin hurt by him and i dont like that?




RomanceClass.com Advice
Wow, the classic heartbreaker. There are so many movies, novels and songs about this situation that I wouldn't be able to name them all. The girl has the best friend and sweet guy right there, already caring for her, but she doesn't even realize it while he's used and abused by her "loving boyfriend".

It's definitely very painful and not easy to handle, hence the many dramatic renderings. Not knowing her, I could only make wild guesses about why she is doing this. But one common reason is that she was raised on romance novels and fairy tales - that her "romantic lover" must be strong, powerful, forceful, a zorro type. So she sees these arguments as a sign of his passion. She greatly values your friendship but sees your caring and talking as being different from her "Zorro".

One of the most important things you can possibly learn in life is that your romantic partner NEEDS to be your best friend. He needs to be someone you can talk about anything with, that listens to you and respects your opinion, that does NOT yell at you. The happiest relationships are between two best friends who enjoy just being with each other, who can get through the many highs and lows that life throws at ALL of us while staying shoulder to shoulder. The fact that these guys fight constantly is a sure sign that their relationship isn't a healthy one.

But one of the biggest dangers is to try to pry someone away from what they think is right for them. If you start to say "He's bad for you!" it will probably cause her to cling to him out of loyalty or out of a "I won't be told what to do!" sort of mentality. On the other hand, mindlessly watching her be abused over and over again isn't much of a friendship activity either.

Take this the slow and steady way. Being yelled at and demeaned is a form of emotional abuse. HOPEFULLY she is NOT being physically abused at all - if she is then talk to an adult or teacher or someone immediately and get her out of that. But emotional abuse can be just as bad if not worse. So find small ways to bring that up in conversation, talk about a friend who was always yelled at and got out of the relationship. Talk about how a happy couple you know doesn't argue because they are able to talk through issues.

There are lots of movies out there involving women in harmful relationships that then realize their friend is the healthy choice. When Harry Met Sally. Bridget Jones Diary. My Best Friend's Wedding. The Wedding Singer. That's a hokey one but it might be perfect for you in fact. In any case, rent one and just have a fun movie night together. A lot of times if you watch a movie with someone, and share that experience together, it can really make you think about the topic.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Does He-She Like Me?

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

origami wedding favors