logo


Romantic Forums! Get the answers you seek quickly and easily! If you can't find what you need
here amongst our tens of thousands of tips and questions, be sure to Post in our Romantic Forum!
We've got over 9,800 members ready to give you a hand!
A Love Quote
Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that. --Michael Leunig



Avoid Labels on Yourself or Others



Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
How do I know if I'm commitment shy? I am 29 & flirtacious female but when i start dating a guy, instead of being how I would like: tender, sweet, I find the guys faults and resist going further due to simple flaws and break it off quickly. what are some traits of commitment shy people?




RomanceClass.com Advice
A lot of magazines love to use labels. You take tests, find out what "type of person" you are and then you're all set. But reality is NOT like that. You're not "a type". You are a human being made up of MANY different types. That's why astrology works so well. I bet if you were given an astrology description of your personality, and they randomly shuffled from all 12 signs, that you would see some parts of those traits in you. We are all complex, multi-faceted individuals.

So instead of thinking of a label for yourself, look at the thing about you that you would like to change. You know that you like to flirt. You like that part of you. But you also know that when it starts to get more serious, you worry about the flaws you see and decide he's not perfect, and therefore you're going to stop the relationship. This could be for THOUSANDS of different reasons, some of them good reasons.

Let's say it's because you have been burned in the past by a guy or guys because you didn't see their flaws in time, and were really fond of them by the time you had to break up. So now you are trying to find the flaws first - but you're being a little too aggressive about it. Of course it could be for thousands of other reasons too. Maybe you were raised by parents who kept convinving you that you would find a Prince Charming someday. Maybe your friends have great partners and you want yours to be equally great. Who knows :)

In any case, once you have identified the problem, you can start to work on the solution. You know that nobody is perfect. Every once of us is an individual. We all have good AND bad parts. So now you have to go into your dating with that knowledge. Of COURSE he has flaws!! We all do. He will see your flaws, you will see his flaws, and that is what makes a relationship beautiful - the loving of complete individuals. So date him and sure, he has flaws. Make it into a game to think of how that flaw might be looked at as a good thing. It sounds silly but it can be quite fun. The aim is to change your mindset about these flaws. They exist! They're normal! We all have them! And they won't cause the world to explode into a million pieces if he has them!

So what if he snores. That'll make sure buglars know the house has someone in it, so they'll move on to an unoccupied house! So what if he likes to wear flannel shirts. They are awfully comfy to snuggle against! Find a good side to the flaws you find, and keep going. See if his WHOLE PACKAGE is something you enjoy, even with the flaws. And since YOU are imperfect too, he is doing the exact same thing.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com





Add RomanceClass  to Twitter Add RomanceClass  to Facebook Add RomanceClass  to MySpace Add RomanceClass  to Del.icio.us Digg RomanceClass+ Add RomanceClass  to Yahoo My Web Add RomanceClass  to Google Bookmarks Add RomanceClass  to Stumbleupon Add RomanceClass  to Reddit
 


Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

All Advice in the category - Flirting and Friendship

Browse our Answer Database
- Browse Answers by Question Category
- Browse Answers by Age Group
- Browse Answers by Date of Response



Please read through the advice on this site before you Submit your Own Question! We have thousands of pages of valuable advice that can immediately help you with your situation.
Advertisement


Sparkly Irridescent Glitz Gel

Going to a party or special event? What to feel special no matter what you're doing? Roll on some glitz! Perfect for adding a special bit of sparkle to your day or evening.

Buy Glitz Gel at EclecticLady.com




Bookmark this site so you can reference it any time you need romantic / relationship info in the future!

Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Twitter Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Facebook Add Romance+Class+Website+ to MySpace Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Del.icio.us Digg Romance+Class+Website+ Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Yahoo My Web Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Google Bookmarks Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Stumbleupon Add Romance+Class+Website+ to Reddit


 

Follow Me on Pinterest


Romantic Tshirts, Bags, Mugs and More!

Love is Patient
Love is Patient ...
Deeply Loved
Deeply Loved ...
Random Kindness
Random Kindness ...

These are just a small selection - Visit the RomanceClass Shop!

Join This Newsletter!


 
RomanceClass on Facebook




Join This Newsletter!

Past Issues





| About RomanceClass | Advertising | Privacy Policy | Submit a Suggestion |
All content copyright 2013 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.

this site is for amusement only - professional advice is not being rendered

origami wedding favors