Talking to a Friendly Girl

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I'm a 15 year old male. Me and this girl were at school after everyone was gone. I was wainting on a ride from someone and she was too. So we talked for like 40 minutes. Then I had to leave. The next day we talked and i started to like her and i think she did too. So i asked a friend to ask her if she had a boyfriend. She said no and she deosn't really want a boyfriend right now. But i really want to ask her out. Should I. Advice
All great dates begin with great friends - people who have fun together, can talk comfortably with each other, who really like each other. So it sounds like you've got a great start on that. There's no need to rush into things! She may not want a "boyfriend" and all the stress involved with that. But if she had you as a great friend, and you did things together all the time, and then you really were comfortable together, I imagine that she'd be really happy and would love to call you her boyfriend.

So start with the friendship. Don't go jumping at her asking her for a "date". Instead, send her friendly email messages. Ask her how she's doing. Be there to talk with her. See what movies she likes and offer to go with her to one over the weekend. Don't say that these things are "dates". Dates involve stress. Just say you have fun with her and would enjoy doing these things with her. That's what friends do together, and it's *not* stressful.

Then, when you get to the point that you're snuggled close during the scary parts of the movies, or on the cold walks home, the rest will come along by itself, and you'll both be happy that it does!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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