I just believe that she could never just look at me as a friend
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My girlfriend and I broke up about two months ago. I was devastated, but she appeared very content. We had been going out for about two years, and she claimed she had fallen out of love with me because we had too many disagreements and the romance disappeared. She said she fell out of love with me about a few months before it finally ended.
In the mean time, she started up with this new guy she works with. He moved in when she was vulnerable and built her up, so she got extremely attached to him and thinks shes already more in love with him than she ever was with me. Is this likely to be true, or do you think it could just be an infatuation that may vanish when she gets to know him better? Anyways, this kid told her he loved her, then out of nowhere tried to end it with her last week claiming he feels she doesn't trust him and that he may still have feelings for his ex girlfriend. She begged him to give her another chance and he agreed. Do you think it will last much longer from there?
All along she claims she feels nothing for me when she sees me, but she enjoys my friendship. We are getting along surprisingly well because I'm setting my feeligns aside even though it is killing me, and we talk very comfortably. She already said she notices changes in me for the better, and that I seem more upbeat and motivated now than before. She recently started working a few days a week back where I work, on top of the place she works with her boyfriend. We will be seeing each other quite frequently now.
My question to you is this.....Am I doomed to becoming just her friend because we will see so much of each other? Or is this a great opportunity for me because she will be seeing more or me and the cheerier I am around her may bring back feelings of why she was with me in the first place? Like I said, more than likely her and this kid won't be making it much past a month or two longer if he has already tried to end it with her once after just a couple of months. Am I in a good position, or is this going to screw me over into just being her buddy? I always felt that if we were together for two years, we were both very deeply in love at one point before I ruined it by taking it all for granted, and I just believe that she could never just look at me as a friend. I think there has to be some feelings there, and right now she is with somebody else so she's holding them back. Could I be right? Thanks for your time, I hope to hear from you soon.
You are in the best position possible to rekindle her love.
Keep being upbeat and cheerful and be there when she needs someone to talk with.
The new boyfriend sounds short term and was probably a rebound. And, I agree with your suggestion that she may be holding back her feelings.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com