Sex without Love

Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
I am 46 years old. My ex-boyfriend is 62 years old. I dated my ex-boyfriend for almost 10 years before I met someone else and we were married within a couple of months. To make a long story short....the time between our break-up and my marriage was horrible. He stalked us and generally made life very difficult.

Four years later ... my marriage is coming to a very bad end....and my ex-boyfriend is becoming active in my life again. I am still sexually attracted to him, but have not acted on it yet. That was one really good thing between us. I am afraid of getting entangled with him again -- obviously there were reasons we ended -- but the physical pull is very strong ...

I wonder if I can realistically have a sexual relationship with him, WITHOUT all the emotional crap....Does sex without love work? Advice
If this guy was a stalker and have proven he enjoys actively make your life miserable then STAY FAR AWAY. This guy is NOT able to keep his emotional self out of a situation. If you went into a sexual relationship with him, he would actively use that to work on you emotionally, and if you tried to leave him again he'd know that "she came back to me last time" and he would be ten times worse as far as stalking and harassing.

Yes, the sexual allure is strong. But there are LOTS of guys out there to handle that with, if it comes down to that. Do NOT risk your emotional well being, especially if you're getting out of a divorce caused by a rebound-relationship, by getting near your ex.

If anything, I would join a support group or find a therapist to start talking about some of these things with. Give yourself many, many months to get through the rebound period this time.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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