Should I support his decision and be a friend or should I turn away and never look back.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
About six months ago i met an amazing guy. At first glance he is not the type i'd normaly go for, physicaly. We met at a work retreat where about twenty people were staying in a "hotel" in the woods. He is absolutely hilarious and all week long we joked around with eachother and paired up for projects. When the retreat was over neither of us wanted to say good bye so i went to his apartment for the weekend, we barely slept but never fooled around just talked and laughed. See, he told me from the very beggining that he had a girlfriend and that they had been dating for 7 years (since they were 16). He also said things were already falling apart between them he just didn't know what to do. She lives about 4 hours away and he barely sees her. So for about a month we tried to stay just frineds being respectful of his situation, trying to let things take their natural course, but the attraction is so strong that was impossible. We talk every day for at least and hour and email constantly while at work. But he is petrafied of hurting anyone and because of it won't break off his relationship with her or me. He says he dosen't know what he should do, that there is so much history between them things i wouldn't understand things he won't tell me. Now all of a sudden he is moving back home which is three hours closer to her and that much farther away from me. He says there are things he needs to work out other than just this and he needs to be near his family to do it all. He told me he loves me and that he hopes i understand how much i mean to him that this was never supposed to end up like this that he thought it would be different but he can't handle it anymore. He said I shouldn't wait for him but that he'll always be there for me if i need him. Should i step back and support his decision while being a friend in the background or should i turn away and never look back.
This is a tough one.
Should you remain a friend or walk away? What you need to figure out is whether the friendship is a viable option for you and what risks of pain are there on that path.
The other choice has its built in and predictable pain. He has partial chosen this path for you by moving away.
I wish you the best in your decision. George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com