From Friends to Boyfriend-Girlfriend

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I am confused. I met this girl in college about 9mo ago. It started off really slow and we didn't talk much. Then she started sitting next to me in class. After the semester we didn't talk until after christmas. Since then she calls me twice a day and we hang out atleast once a week. At first she wouldn't sit near me when we hung out but now she makes it a point to. We playfully touch each other like tickling. She also hugs me everytime I leave.

My problem really started just about 3mo ago. I really like this girl. She has had me hook line and sinker from like month 3. She is everything I ever wanted in a companion. Well anyhow my problem started when she went on spring break. She was in florida and all I could think about was her. I missed her like crazy. Well she called me every other day from down there to talk a bit so that was relieving but something was off with me. I was jealous of guys that were just hanging around her. I didn't show my jealousy but I was.

When she came back she started to bring up ex's and such which bothers me but I play it off like it is nothing. All I can think about is her anymore and it is driving me nuts. She knows I like her more than a friend because I have told her but I don't think she believes me. I do everything I can for her just to show I care. I even took care of her when she was sick. I went over to her place brought her medicine, get well balloons, and made her soup.

Now when she hugs me I want to kiss her but I don't want to look like a fool or make her mad. I think she talks about me but I am not certain. I am shy and I don't pick up on signs at all. When I was over there the other night her mother made a comment you owe ur boyfriend and then there was a big pause and then her mom said well the boy that happens to be your friend. I could not see my friends face or her mother so I think she may have given her mother a look or said something silently so I could not hear. Also sometimes when I mention going to singles clubs by myself she says be nice.

What do you think? I really like her the last time I felt like this with a girl it was my girlfriend of 5yrs. When we broke up it took me a whole year to get over her to start dating again. Like I said she has me hook line and sinker. I adore this girl. What are your thoughts?? Should I try to kiss her? Do you think she likes me more than a friend? Any advice you can give me would be appreciated. Especially advice on whether or not I should give up on a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with her. Everyone keeps telling me because we haven't kissed yet that I am wasting my time. I feel anytime with her is time well spent. I like her a lot and like I said I adore her. Should I just let go and look elsewhere? Thanx Advice
Your friends are completely off-base who say you should give up on her because you haven't kissed her yet. The very best relationships are based on really strong friendships where you care for each other and really get along. So the fact that you have built this strong friendship with her is *great*. I have lots of advice including a how-to on going from friends to boyfriend-girlfriend and you're right on target.

The next step is to move the relationship along a bit. Start going to movies and dinners with her, as friends. Start with comedies and casual restaurants. Once that is normal, then start going to romantic movies and romantic restaurants. The whole 'atmosphere' will influence the way you guys interact. Keep the hugging up, and give her a kiss on the hand or the cheek. Both of those are friendly but are getting the kissing in there in a non-scary way. I think if you take those next steps that she'll ease into the relationship and realize that it's really about best friends being even closer.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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