I Want more Flowers
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now. When we first started dating he bought me some roses while I was in the shower and before I got out he placed them on my bed for me to see when I was done.
Since then I have received no flowers, cards or anything. Not even on my birthday. How can I communicate to him or what can I say to rekindle the romantic gestures?
On one hand, love is NEVER about physical gifts. To say it is is falling into the age-old marketing trap that those who sell flowers / cards / jewelry would have you believe. Love is about real emotions, about showing you care with your eyes and mouth. Physical trinkets are ways to show that you have spending cash, which shouldn't in any way be associated with love.
For example, he probably isn't complaining that you haven't bought him flowers all this time. Why is it right that a girl should have a guy spend cash on her, and the guy doesn't have the girl buying him things in return? Seeing as how many women make just as much as men do - if not more - that's hardly fair at all.
But there are always ways to show you care without spending cash. Grab some white paper and cut it into squares of maybe 4" by 4". Give him a bunch and keep a bunch for yourself. Say that these are for romantic notes. Now start writing him little romantic notes and leave one for him every few days. Ask for some romantic notes in return. Decorate them with drawings of flowers or hearts or whatever. When you get the ones from him, hang them up in your room or other places you'll see them. When you get the notes from him, be very enthusiastic in your thanks to show him just how much these little extra gifts are appreciated by you.
On a side note about flowers, I always think it's an incredible shame to chop down gorgeous flowers and stick them in a vase where they die in a few days. When my true love brings me flowers for Valentine's Day, he brings me a small potted rose plant. It sits on the table until spring. Then it goes into the garden and blooms for years to come, and brings beauty to the whole area. So if you dropped hints like that before a special occasion, it might make more sense than just killing off some flowers for a few days of table-top color. The plants would become long-lived reminders of your love.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com