Will I be slightly unhappy forever?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Okay, i'v been with my boyfriend for over 5 months now. It's been a perfect relationship and he's been amazing.
In the beginning of the relationship I let him know that I was a virgin and he was my first for everything and he told me the same. Later i asked him about his past and he said he was in a "fake" relationship for about 2 months the guy he was with never took him on a date or showed him any sign of they were in a relationship. So one night without thinking of it as sex his ex wanted to "experiement" so my boyfriend let him have intercourse but he tells me there was no kissing, touching, intimacy of any sourght whatsoever. Only touching was the penertration itself and he said he couldn't feel a thing phsycally or emotionally.
I'm having a real hard time beileving that I took his viriginity ( a year later) and with me he said it was "exactly how he imagined loosing it" but i'm still having problems beilving i took it knowing he had the other guy.
I question him about it constatly every day and it's ruining our relationship. But I can't help it it's like I want to beileve it but my jealousy and pain is pulling me back. For 5 months now he has been reassuring me i'm his first but still one min i'll beileve it the next I don't and get fileld with frusstration and anger.
I know it's the past and I need to let go of it because it's something that can't be changed but is there anything else i can do to beileve him and get over it or will I be slightly unhappy forever?
RomanceClass.com Advice
Try fighting against the jealous feelings like they are an enemy--which they are.
Whenever a jealous thought enters your mind tell it in no uncertain terms to go away and stop bothering you because you trust your boyfriend. After doing this about 100 times, the bad thoughts will give up trying to bother you and go away.
Here are some more tips about jealousy:
http://www.romanceclass.com/miscr/LoveCat/23682
Good luck! George -- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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